Re: She is moving back home....
It's disappointing that your consistent refrain is anger at the subset of folks here who you believe 'gave you bad advice'. You got a lot of good advice which frankly you seem very ungrateful for.
You also seem unable to grasp something very basic. As the hotter partner you unintentionally smothered your wife over a long period of time.
The advice you got was to stop chasing, begging and smothering. As you discovered, each time you dropped the emotional temperature, she suddenly lost all desire to leave you.
I had hoped you might contribute some lessons learned. Things you learned about being a better partner to the unique person you married. Instead you mainly come back to say: everything's fantastic, thank God I didn't listen to you idiots. Most truly happy people don't come across as angry as you do.
QUOTE=This is me;7939474]I think it must be about 6 months since I last visited this website. By chance thought I would log in tonight and find this post has some recent new life. Thanks for the comments and I am very glad to hear that some viewers find my/our story inspirational.
BTW: Marriage is the best it has ever been! First 16 years were very good, 17th year the MLC hit and was the worst time of my life (and hers), by the 19th we were back with a slow build up of trust and love. Now in our 20th year it is exceptional!
I found this website to be very helpful and gave me a place to vent my frustrations and issues during the toughest days, but in hindsight there are many truths that rarely get discussed here at this site that I believe could save marriages. I think many really come here to experience wrecks not the good stuff which is staying married. Even in this section that is really set up for the good stuff.
Be careful of the advice you get from others. We are all wounded here and our approaches need to be customized to our own situation. I had some people strongly telling me to walk, divorce, etc. They were very wrong!
Mid Life Crisis is a depression that I have seen hit many people and cause them to trash their marriages in the hopes for greener pastures. MLC's usually pass but can take many months and more likely years. But it is worth the wait if the marriage was mostly good before. After two years at this site, I believe MLC's happen much more often than people realize and misdiagnosed by many does not allow giving the mental illness the right chance to save marriages.
There are good MC and bad ones. Keep looking if there are bad signs. Our first should not be one in my eyes. He was taking sides, had his own issues and told me it was over. He was wrong! The second one was a very good fit for us both.
I feel fortunate to have kept my head through this all and proud my marriage is better than ever and hope those who really want to save theirs find the way with patience![/QUOTE]