05-08-2012, 01:10 PM
Join Date: May 2011
| | Re: Need advice fast
Originally Posted by won'tstoptrying53
Thanks for the advice, "This is me". I've been following your own thread, and that has helped me to be optimistic. I do have a question you might help me with. Many people on this site advocate the 180, going dark, etc. I really like the marriage guru Mort Fertel, who bassically says the opposite: that you give gifts, use touch and what he calls talk charges. They have been working for me to some extent, since my wife has taken divorce off the table. What do you think of these two extremes?
That is a great question. I have been down both paths. I loved Morts book, but my Wife (at the time) did not. I think the timing may have been off for her and she was just not ready for thepro action ways Mort promotes. For me it backfired.
She was looking for space at the time and I was trying everything I could to fix it. In hindsight the book only stirred the pot. But I believe that was just her and the stage she was at that turned her off of Mort's way.
After she left I went 180 the best I could. I believe everyone needs to play around with what works best for them at the time. I never went full 180, but close enough. The benefits for me was helping me get stronger if I needed to move on with my life without her.
I wish you all the best. Stay positive!