06-03-2012, 05:53 AM
Join Date: Jun 2012
| | My success
In a world full of negativity and failing relationships, I thought I should share what has been a success story in my life. Success because I won back the woman of my dreams, and success because I was able to change myself in so many ways to become a better man.
Nearly 8 years ago, I met the woman of my dreams... We hit it off pretty quickly and never looked back. Our relationship was full of adventure, excitement and endless hours of fun. We lived together very early on in the piece and I knew very quickly that she was the one I would spend the rest of my life with. She was my friend, my lover and my better half.
Fast forward a few years and we married under some difficult circumstances (her father was being quite difficult with wedding planning). Essentially we threw out our plans for the big white wedding and advised family and friends that we would be holding it on Daydream Island (Australia) and if they wanted to attend they would have to pay their own way... My now inlaws have never been a supportive group. They live on the poverty line, my sister in law has a criminal record, my mother in law has permanent brain damage from alchohol addiction and my father in law is senile... But out of this pot of dirt grew this wonderful rose that is my wife... How she escaped I will never know...
about 2 months ago my wife and I had an argument... seemingly meaningless over something trivial but at the end of it she declared she no longer loved me and that she wanted to seperate. To say I was heartbroke was an understatement. I was devestated... The reasons she listed were many but the crucial ones were lack of support from myself with raising our infant daughter, a percieved lack of interest in my being with her and a routine that was getting her down.
She informed me that she would be moving to stay with her parents (over 1600miles away) whilst we worked things out and she began a new life.
This left me devestated and scared... I looked back at the last few years and became annoyed and what I had put her through and resolved to change my personality as rapidly as possible, to show her that I can be the man that she wants me to be and that I was in a state of blissful ignorance as to her true feelings. We saw a marriage counsellor both individually and together to help us work out our feelings.
Due to some financial reasons, she couldn't move out immediately. I took time off work and spent many days with her just having fun, being adventurous like we used to be. We went on long drives with our daughter, went on long walks and reconnected as friends. I started supporting her more, I turned the TV off and listened to her (infact I havn't watched TV since apart from childrens programs for our daughter). We read books to each other and spent many an hour just talking. Our sex life went into hyperdrive which was odd. We then decided that in order to make her move a little more favourable, we'd do the long drive to her parents place together. That way she'd have her car and could be independant.
Although we weren't physically seperated... it was an emotional seperation...
A week before we left my wife, our daughter and myself became terribly sick. This was the perfect opportunity to step up to the plate and I began caring for her and our daughter despite feeling pretty average myself. I knew that this would show her that I'm capable of supporting her and our daughter...
As we began our long drive to her parents place, we connected even more. We arrived at her parents place and were assaulted by the stench and filth they live in... All our horrible memories of them came flooding back and it became apparent that this was really an unacceptable environment for our daughter.
As we laid in bed, wishing that things were different, she began to cry and turned to me and said she loved me and that she didn't want this anymore. She said it was a mistake that she had to make and that all our problems had been resolved. She said she wanted to come back home (with a few conditions attached).
I flew home a few days later in order to go back to work and allow her a little space and a chance to spend time with her family... immediate and extended....
A week later I flew back down and the following day we drove off into the sunset and have never looked back.
If there is advice for seperated couples, or people thinking about seperation... If your relationship is meant to be, or if the other person truly loves you... Things will work out.. Maybe not as quickly as in my circumstance but they will work out. Listen to your partner, talk to them, understand them... If there is a problem, sort it out quickly and don't ignore it... Love your partner more than you love yourself, be willing to make sacrifices and don't be selfish... I was and it nearly cost me a wife and daughter..
Good luck to all out there going through this emotional trauma... I can only hope that you are able to find peace through whatever outcome may happen.