07-09-2012, 05:12 AM
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Dallas, Tx
| | Re: Divorced then Reconciled? Please share...
So it is possible and I can tell a few more stories, but I've found with each one there is a common challenge. You have to let your spouse go for a few years and work on forgiving them and letting go of your anger. You can't change the past, but you can accept that arguing over what you want not being what your spouse wants only causes grief. And you need this time away from them to grieve alone and without being constantly tested by them.
Later on when you decide you want to get back in touch, keep in mind you're completely starting over and accept that your spouse has had a meaningful relationship with other people whether they be an AP or a new lover. So you must work hard to not show jealousy and never put that person down even if she does. No matter what is going on in their new life know that you two have a lot of history together and many firsts.
While your spouses identity may have changed a little they will still remember you in a good or bad light. It's up to you to decide if you want to reconcile as friends first and move slowly or completely let them go. If you see reconciliation as worth while then don't let anyone tell you other wise. Just know that you can't put your love life on hold to save more room for them.
If things don't work out now, continue to enjoy and live your life as you please, but don't completely write them out of your life for good. Exes have a way of showing up in the strangest places, often when you don't want them anymore. It's up to you to treat them as descent as you would like to be treated and let go of the past hurt. You can discuss those feelings later at a proper time but don't attack them for no reason. People make mistakes and sometime realize it was better on the other side of the fence all along.
I saw a report on the news a while ago about a couple in their late seventies that remarried 50 years after their divorce, after a few marriages, children, and grandchildren. They shared stories about their grand children and told FOX they're rekindled relationship felt like it meant to be.