Well, the heart surgery is done. I'm back home recovering. It's been a roller coaster. She took me to the surgery. It was not a pleasant trip, but it wasn't horrible. She was cold but cordial. After the surgery in ICU, she was there by my side. She held my hand and asked how I was doing. She had a different look in her eyes. My aunt wasn't too nice to her so she got upset about that. My dad and other aunt were friendly with her. My dad hugged her and said she is his daughter. I don't really remember most of that day as I was pretty drugged up.
The next day, Wednesday, she came to see me. Back to cold but cordial. She didn't come on Thursday. Friday, she took me to her parent's house. It was pretty rough. I decided on Saturday morning while she was out to ask her parents to take me home. (Her parents are wonderful and are supportive of reconciliation)
There was a bit of a change. She offered to come get me that night and I could stay there. We talked. I didn't beg or anything, nothing like that to look pathetic, but I told her I would like that. It was getting late so we decided to wait until Sunday. She picked me up that morning for church. Her parents sat between us. She was still a little cold.
Her dad took me home to rest while they had some other family members over. She came to pick me up a few hours later. We went to the store and got an air mattress for me to sleep on. After a couple hours there, she warmed up. She smiled at me. She was pleasant. It was a good day. We set up the air mattress in her room. SHe asked if I wanted to go upstairs and watch a movie with her. It was "Pride and Prejudice", a chick flick that I have no interest in watching. I happily accepted. We didn't really talk a lot, and when we did, it was pleasant. We didn't talk about the future or anything like that. I did say that it was a good day and I think it's good to take things one day at a time.
She took me home the next morning. SHe called from work to see if I would set up a meeting with the pastor for our MC. (She had agreed to ONE session of MC with the pastor before the surgery, but we couldn't get it scheduled). I was really happy about it.
I was to go over there at about 6:30 to see the kids. This is Monday... SHe called at 2:30 to see if I wanted her to pick me up so we could get the kids from the new daycare together and give me more time with them. I accepted. After we got the kids, she went back to cold. She said that she doesn't want to be nice anymore because it seems to be giving me false hope for a future. She said she doesn't want to grow old with me and doesn't want us raising the kids together. She wants to move on and get this over with. She doesn't want to find anyone else, she just wants to move on. It was a long painful 15 minute ride home. I didn't cry or beg, I just said ok.
The next day, the texts start up - that I just need to accept that we are done and only going to be friends. After 2 texts, she called. I didn't answer. After the 2 texts and the calls, I text her back that I don't feel like talking right now. When she got off work, she blew up my phone calling over and over. I finally answered and said I don't want to talk. She was furious about it. She really started digging to try to hurt me. I kept saying that I don't want to talk. She finally hung up. She started texting again. I told her I will talk to her Saturday (at MC with the pastor). She said something about not wanting to see the kids, and being selfish for not talking to her. The 4th or 5th text later, she said that my non-response was just confirmation of how selfish I am and only accomplishing a non-friendship after divorce. I text her back that said all she does is tell me how horrible I am and how much she hates me and I don't want to listed to it. She responded that she doesn't hate me but I need to give her the divorce.
That was the last communication with her.
Now her parents have been helping me out. I'm still not allowed to drive, her dad talks to me (he was a pastor for 20 years and is a great man) Her mom has a heart of gold and really wants us to get back together. It makes my wife so mad that they still talk to me and treat me like I am their son-in-law still.
She is the only one that wants a divorce. I don't. The kids don't. Her family doesn't. My family doesn't. I hate not seeing my kids, but we have not really been "separated" since she moved out a month ago.