I dunno all the details of your situation, but relationship talk was a sure thing to guarantee a fight with my W. She didn't want to talk about getting back together...she was done. But earlier on, I couldn't help myself sometimes.
Since I've stopped, she's become much more approachable. We go out now for lunch sometimes, and just go about it as friends. So relationship talk. The odd time we'll reference something in the relationship, but just smile about it and continue on.
Just reconnecting on a friend level seems to be a good first step. IF she is anything like my W, then she has a LOT of anger and resentment built up, and small triggers will unleash that. The more positive, non-stressful moments you have with her, the more that anger will subside bit by bit.
It's going to take a while. It's been almost 7 weeks since I moved out. We haven't had a fight in probably 3-4 weeks...well, since the last time I pathetically started falling apart about the relationship.
Without knowing more, I don't want to give too specific of advice. But do not add unnecessary stress into the moments you have with her. "Soften" her spirit from the pain and anger she has. That's step one. Fighting with her only intensifies that.