Desperate - Page 6 - Talk About Marriage
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post #76 of 1046 (permalink) Old 10-01-2012, 01:56 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Desperate

Another great weekend. Slow and steady improvements.
She still wants to have a seat between us at church for some reason... not sure about that.
Although the house is still going to be lost, we are turning in our applications to rent a house. I talked with a few people and the consensus is that she is wanting to start new memories because our place has too many bad ones. We bought it very shortly after the previous reconciliation.
Yesterday, while at her parents' house, her sister came over. They were not rude to me. Her husband actually text me and offered me a pizza after they left, while I was watching a movie with my wife. All of us were a little shocked at the offer, that may be a peace offering. So all in all, things are moving along. Yeah, I am a little impatient with things, I'd like them to be 100% perfect right now, but I'll take things as they are because it is SOOOOO much better than it was 2 months ago.
I'll still keep posting the progress on here.

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post #77 of 1046 (permalink) Old 10-06-2012, 08:16 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Desperate

Looks like we are definitely going to be getting this house together. Signing the lease either today or next Saturday.
SIL still hates me. Both SIL's do... BIL's seem to want to stay out of it. It's going to take a lot more time for the SIL's... It's ok. This decision is between God, me, my wife, and my kids. Everyone else is important to us, but they are not the deciding factors on R
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post #78 of 1046 (permalink) Old 10-06-2012, 09:11 AM
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Re: Desperate

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Looks like we are definitely going to be getting this house together. Signing the lease either today or next Saturday.
SIL still hates me. Both SIL's do... BIL's seem to want to stay out of it. It's going to take a lot more time for the SIL's... It's ok. This decision is between God, me, my wife, and my kids. Everyone else is important to us, but they are not the deciding factors on R
be nice to SIL's. That will drive them crazy. And try not to even mention them infront of wife. No need for any drama.
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post #79 of 1046 (permalink) Old 10-06-2012, 09:19 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Desperate

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be nice to SIL's. That will drive them crazy. And try not to even mention them infront of wife. No need for any drama.
Already one step ahead of you. I work with her sister. Same office. Cubicle is 20 feet from me... I have been going out of my way to be "Mr Nice Guy". Yes, I must admit, partially to get under her skin... I'm human, sue me...

But really I am not going to worry as much about them as me. I am bettering myself, I am a good person. If they can't see it, so be it. My wife is hurting because of the break in the family, but she has chosen me over her sister. She is avoiding telling her about the house for now... I understand it. But this whole experience has shown me how she really feels about me. Crazy as it is, we love each other.

On another note, we actually had a dialog in MC. It was the first time we gave complaints without either one getting their feelings hurt and yelling at the other...
It is possible!!!
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post #80 of 1046 (permalink) Old 10-08-2012, 07:00 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Desperate

Another great weekend. She was in a bad mood yesterday but snapped out of it and started treating me nice. Usually, the bad mood would end, but the treatment remained. She also put her wedding ring back on last night.
Our pastor asked us to have an impromtu visit with he and his wife to just catch up - that went well.
All in all, there has been a complete turnaround. Both of us are making an effort. I don't think she had really COMPLETELY checked out of the marriage, but the stress built up and I had piled on.
The main thing is that we don't go back to the old routine. We can't sweep this under the rug
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post #81 of 1046 (permalink) Old 10-10-2012, 07:21 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Desperate

Still struggling with her sister. It wouldn't be so bad if she didn't work with me, but she sits 15 feet from me. I tried to talk with her and she snapped at me. I am being as friendly as I can for my wife's sake and my MIL's sake. But I am weakening... I really want to tell her to stop trying to cause problems... But that would cause more problems.
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post #82 of 1046 (permalink) Old 10-15-2012, 04:46 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Desperate

Still going well. Hoping to start moving in this weekend. No change on the sister, it may have even gotten worse since she found out that we are back together and moving to a new place.
She has made sure that she is available to spend time with me and the kids whenever I am off work... Without fail we are together, except when she has school.
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post #83 of 1046 (permalink) Old 10-17-2012, 11:59 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Desperate

Hmmm
I guess I'm out...
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post #84 of 1046 (permalink) Old 10-17-2012, 06:50 PM
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Re: Desperate

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Hmmm
I guess I'm out...
what do you mean?
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post #85 of 1046 (permalink) Old 10-18-2012, 06:58 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Desperate

I was in a bad mood yesterday. I have a feeling people at work are starting to take sides with this whole SIL thing. The people I used to eat lunch with are walking right past me and sitting at other tables. Seems the better the marriage the worse the treatment from the SIL. I tried to talk with her, she refused. I was having a whining session yesterday that spilled over into here.

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post #86 of 1046 (permalink) Old 10-18-2012, 08:27 PM
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I was in a bad mood yesterday. I have a feeling people at work are starting to take sides with this whole SIL thing. The people I used to eat lunch with are walking right past me and sitting at other tables. Seems the better the marriage the worse the treatment from the SIL. I tried to talk with her, she refused. I was having a whining session yesterday that spilled over into here.
Don't assume that is the case. Maybe you are down and sad. That usually makes people stay away from you. But I would quit trying to talk to SIL all together. Say hi or whatever a d if she doesnt respond back, then that is her problem. I don't think you are going to convince her about anything.
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post #87 of 1046 (permalink) Old 10-19-2012, 06:37 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Desperate

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Don't assume that is the case. Maybe you are down and sad. That usually makes people stay away from you. But I would quit trying to talk to SIL all together. Say hi or whatever a d if she doesnt respond back, then that is her problem. I don't think you are going to convince her about anything.
Just makes it tough when I sit by her at work. The whole family is very much in favor of our reconciliation except my 2 SIL's - and one of them can "fake it"...
Everyone seems to be worried about the holidays and how she is going to react. We all know that she CAN choose to be civil to me, but she chooses not to. Her actions do not only affect me, but the affect the whole family, and apparently people at work too. It's 7:35 right now and she and I are the only two in our department right now... I am biting my tongue.
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post #88 of 1046 (permalink) Old 10-26-2012, 01:44 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Desperate

Tonight is my last night sleeping alone!
I can tell that she is excited to be back together but she is still slightly reserved in expressing her excitement with me around. She freely tells her parents how she feels (yes they tell me things).
I am really happy to be getting my family back. I can see changes in her and changes in me. Looks like we are building a really good foundation.

I am doing most of the packing though.... I think I can deal with that
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post #89 of 1046 (permalink) Old 10-26-2012, 02:19 PM
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Tonight is my last night sleeping alone!
I can tell that she is excited to be back together but she is still slightly reserved in expressing her excitement with me around. She freely tells her parents how she feels (yes they tell me things).
I am really happy to be getting my family back. I can see changes in her and changes in me. Looks like we are building a really good foundation.

I am doing most of the packing though.... I think I can deal with that
Just don't smother her right away. Try not to be too excited if you know what I mean. Take it slow and don't overwhelm her.
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post #90 of 1046 (permalink) Old 10-29-2012, 06:47 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Desperate

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Just don't smother her right away. Try not to be too excited if you know what I mean. Take it slow and don't overwhelm her.
I'm making a real effort there... she knows I am. We're not out of the woods but we are walking out together
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