I just don't know what to do.
My mum rang me this morning mainly to tell me that my husband is never coming back and I need to get over it, I asked her how she knew this, to which she replied 'he told you himself' I admitted that yes he had said this in October after I had told him I wanted him back, well infact he said I needed to move on, I explained to him I couldn't move on if he remained so much in my life, but even though he knows that, he is still trying to remain in it, what my mum said really hurt me because I don't want to move on, I don't feel he really does either, she says he is just using me and he doesn't give a damn about me. I know she hates him so her opinion is understandable, but I love him and I want him back, but I'm so confused, if he didn't care at all he wouldn't want to be around me, I have said to him that If I was just a bad person that he left, why does he want to be my friend, but he won't answer me. He just says, because. What do I do, it's only been 3 months but it feels like a lifetime. He has already rung me 3 times today, over a 3 hour period.
Do I continue as I am, or cut contact, I have tried LC before, but I just think it would piss him off and he would just think, well sod her then. What can I say to him, what can I do, if he wants to take things slowly and I suddenly say or do something wrong, surely that will push him away. I don't want to play games, I just want him back.
Does anybody think we have any chance of R at all? Or am I been stupid? Please please help me, I just don't know what to do
Hope your are doing very well today!
I feel this and wanted to ask you:
Howcome he decides how your life is to be-He cheats,abandons his family for a crack woman(this implies he is not healthy emotionally)-then he sees to his mistake,leaves her-comes to you with this 'Friend-friend' drama(not letting you move on in the process)-the OW still has the audacity to poke her nose again(to which your H tells that this has got nothing to do in between you people-in my opinion he should ahve kicked her if he wanted)-He does not commit to R-And you still want this to work.
Why are you settling for a cheat who is playing the friend -friend drama and would not re-commit to R even when children are involved.Have you considered that you have grown unhealthy to attract and want that unhealthy man again in life.What about your self-worth and dignity.he cannot use you like this.
See even if a reconciliation is to take place,it should be with confidence and not walking on egg-shells or wishfulthinking;Please work on healing yourself;Ask him to backoff,till you know that you are not settling for a cheat ;If he is sincere ,he shall wait and do everythung to get you back;else mobve on;
Your mom loves you,what benefit does she get my hating that H of yours;she ould have been happy if ypu had a loving spouse,I am sure she sees how he is hampering in your progressing ahead.
Please move on;Set your rules just for you and take cntrol of your llife;
All the rosy,rosy thing he is showing you(calling you etcbringing stuff etc) ,he is trying to cool off what he did;Cheating is not acceptable in any manner;what respect did he have for you and the kids when he went sleeping with the OW;And please do not try to put the blame on the OW-she would not have dare approach your husband if he was of sound moral characters;And it is not like it was a one night stand thing,a mistake,it was a full blown affair;he is not a good man in my opinion;and is using you.For what do you love him;what has he got for you to love him anymore after he cheated on you.
I have much to say proivided you do a little self-introspection and see things for real with a clear head;