Re: reconciliation after long term affair
I doubt your spouse will ever tell you "why" as telling you could make the situation so much worse and it can be so cruel. The truth may hurt you deeply and harm the marriage even more once the truth is out in the open. You may resent the truth so much that you may even want to leave him etc.
How does his ex-OW look like? My ex-OW was a bit naive and insecure woman who had a low self-esteem despite her glamourous looks; but she was generally sweet when I spoke to her. She had magnificent DD cup size (perfect for one night stands for men) and a trim figure. There wasn't much else to her.
Certainly she wasn't a "marriage" material and H knew this and took advantage. Well, she offered sex on a plate and she pursued him persistently. At the same time, he was very weak and grabbed it. There's not much more to it. It was hot sex with a different body he simply couldn't resist each time she had offered more. He ended up going back for more. She thought there was more than "friends with benefits" type affair to her but that was all he had intended.
He was "nice" enough to go back to her and have their final sex after DDay to my amazement. I found out from his OW. I expect he wanted to have the last sex with her and to say good bye, which caused a lot of grief to me needless to say..