reconciliation after long term affair - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
Reconciliation This forum is for those focused on reconciliation and success stories from people who have been through separation and reconciled successfully.

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post #16 of 17 (permalink) Old 12-30-2012, 11:20 AM
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Re: reconciliation after long term affair

Hi Allwillbewell

I doubt your spouse will ever tell you "why" as telling you could make the situation so much worse and it can be so cruel. The truth may hurt you deeply and harm the marriage even more once the truth is out in the open. You may resent the truth so much that you may even want to leave him etc.

How does his ex-OW look like? My ex-OW was a bit naive and insecure woman who had a low self-esteem despite her glamourous looks; but she was generally sweet when I spoke to her. She had magnificent DD cup size (perfect for one night stands for men) and a trim figure. There wasn't much else to her.

Certainly she wasn't a "marriage" material and H knew this and took advantage. Well, she offered sex on a plate and she pursued him persistently. At the same time, he was very weak and grabbed it. There's not much more to it. It was hot sex with a different body he simply couldn't resist each time she had offered more. He ended up going back for more. She thought there was more than "friends with benefits" type affair to her but that was all he had intended.

He was "nice" enough to go back to her and have their final sex after DDay to my amazement. I found out from his OW. I expect he wanted to have the last sex with her and to say good bye, which caused a lot of grief to me needless to say..

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post #17 of 17 (permalink) Old 02-02-2016, 11:08 AM
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Re: reconciliation after long term affair

I'm really glad I found this because it's so similar. My H had a 6 year A with a single who didn't know he was married, so there are 2 victims in our scenario. We are in 2 different cities as he travels. He stopped the A to come home and work on our marriage (guilt). I didn't find out until I got a revenge email from the OWs sister about a month after he broke it off with her. We have been together for 40 years. I have felt every emotion in the book and then some. Betrayal by your spouse is the worst pain ever. We are in counseling and working on a "new" relationship. I'm still ambivalent as to whether I want to continue in the marriage but have committed to try. LTA's are so complex and I know it will require years of hard work to get to a happy place. My prayers for all who are BS's. Only you can decide what's right for you in your situation.
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