Is reconciliation possible w/ WAW & posOM

HiRoad · 01-01-2013, 03:25 PM

Ok, ad the advice of other her on the R thread i have been encouraged to post a new thread to track my progress towards/not a reconciliation.

My WAW left 9/18 we have been seperated ever since. She is 30 i am 34 we have to kids 3 & 1.5. Married 6 yrs. In the months i ve seen signs of a posOM but could not confirm it. Then in the last few weeks she confirmed she has been on a few dates and that there is someone tha she is dating. She has been extremely careless to say the most, spending $$$, not being w/ kids, drinking, and partying.

My family/close friends has been by my side since she left. However, this may be a bad thing i think, b/c they may now to much. Though i am trynig, to move on w/ my life, i cant help but think about the pos. that she may/may not come back.

I have to think that the odds are in my favor.

My question is how do people do it? How do married couples R after all this damage is done? What about the families that were affected?

I know that alot of people here R but i dont see how you get over all the hurt caused?

I will keep my journey posted here too as i go through it :/

the guy · 01-01-2013, 03:54 PM

Married couples can have a successful R cuz *both* want it. There is a huge degree of submission by the wayward that helps.

This is me · 01-01-2013, 05:46 PM

I hope she can come back for both of you. If she does....

I can tell you first hand that if you both want it, it can reconcile. The collateral damage is something I am still dealing with and processing month by month. For example. My family resents her and hers does me. Both families got the one side of the story and that was all.

My family has welcomed her back but hers has not so much me. Her family sent Christmas cards addressed to only her. Ouch. Mine sent them to both of us. I thought that was a great opportunity for them to welcome me back, but they took the low ground. I can't force her to fix this, but only suggest it.

I have resentment towards her family and understand that I have to work through the resentment if I want this fixed. Be the bigger man, so to speak.

So take the high ground if you get the chance. All we can do is be the better example. Wishing you well.

HiRoad · 01-02-2013, 07:21 PM

Thisisme - how long were you guys seperated for? did the D get final?