Re: Advice needed on how to reconcile
Start with the understanding that if what you are saying is true, she's probably been building up to this decision for a long time and there is no magic pill you can swallow to change the situation. It's going to take time and effort and even with that, it might not work.
Start here: What does she want you to change? Is it reasonable? Are you willing to change it?
If so, start making the change(s). When you've done it long enough for her to notice, you can casually mention at some point, "Hey - you remember you said you'd wish I'd xxxxxx. I've been thinking about it, I've tried it for a while, and I really think it's been positive for me." Then drop it unless she comments. Don't beat her over the head with it. Just plant the seed that you are changing and back it up with action.
Also, do not move out. If she wants to leave so badly, she can leave. Make sure you have your daughter half the time. It's better for your daughter and puts you in a much better place should you guys eventually divorce. You want to be able to show you are an active parent.