She Wants To Come Back Now

Isuck · 02-04-2013, 01:43 PM

Well, August 1st, she left. Got a place on her own then January 1st, she moved in her boyfriend to live with her. I have accepted that we'll never be together, have moved on and have a wonderful girlfriend of my own who I care about very deeply now.

Anyhow, today my soon to be ex, texts me like crazy saying she wants to come home, has asked her boyfriend to get out and just wants her old life back with me.

Uh?

When she left, she left as a walk away wife. She was having an affair with the very guy she is now kicking out. She seems so lost and I cannot trust her anymore. We have kids together, but that's not a good enough reason to reconcile in my mind. Plus I can't really forgive her for what she's done in cheating on me. PLUS I really like my girlfriend, she's an upgrade in every way.

Any advice?

PBear · 02-04-2013, 01:45 PM

So what's the question? She made her decision. You don't want her back. Karma's a b1tch.

C
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familyfirst09 · 02-04-2013, 01:46 PM

Seems like you've answered your own question...
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tacoma · 02-04-2013, 01:46 PM

Tell the Ex she's **** out of luck.

Try not to have a **** eating grin on your face when you do it.

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Isuck · 02-04-2013, 01:47 PM

Yeah I think I have. The only thing that would even make me consider getting back with her, is my kids. I love them, but I have to be happy too.

PBear · 02-04-2013, 01:49 PM

You can still be good parents, even if you're not together. Concentrate on that.

C
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Isuck · 02-04-2013, 01:50 PM

Good point. I grew up in a divorced household and know what it's like. I love the kids but if it weren't for them, I would probably never speak to my ex ever again, (soon to be ex that is).

Tomlongisland · 02-04-2013, 01:52 PM

Hey,

if you are going to stay with the gf say goodbye. If you think you may have feelings for the ex don't let her move back in but date her and see how it works.

Isuck · 02-04-2013, 01:59 PM

I don't have feelings for the ex, but she's pulling out the "we should try for the kids" line. Guilting me into anything is kinda dumb. My GF is way better. I just wanted to see if anyone else was going through this.

PBear · 02-04-2013, 02:01 PM

I would tell her she should have thought about that about 6 months ago...

C
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familyfirst09 · 02-04-2013, 02:06 PM

I'm a FWS so I feel for the woman...sorry. There's lots of these types of stories here where the BS has said no effin way and now they are reconciling. Look at Rookie4's threads.
Yes, I agree saying get back together for the kids is a guilt trip but is also legitimate. She shouldn't be using it tho.

Are you willing to give her a chance to prove herself? Obviously you are asking for a reason, something inside you somewhere is wondering if you should....

How long were you married? How old are you both? How many kids?
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Isuck · 02-04-2013, 02:07 PM

I told her I wanted this before, she didn't. She gave up, ran away, broke my heart and refused to even consider giving me any chance. Now that things are done with her stupid BF, she wants to come back. How can I trust her again? (I can't). The love is gone and I'm not sure I want to even entertain getting hurt by her again, (which I think I would IF I ever got back with her).

She didn't like that but is really kissing ass at this point.

I can't even imagine anything physical with her. All I'd be thinking of is her stupid ex BF. That would drive me crazy.

Isuck · 02-04-2013, 02:08 PM

What's FWS? I'm not sure of the lingo here.

We were married just shy of 13 years. 4 kids. Late 30's both of us.

PBear · 02-04-2013, 02:08 PM

I'm also a formerly wayward spouse, and if I went crawling back to my wife, I wouldn't be expecting much mercy. I would expect to live with my decision.

C
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familyfirst09 · 02-04-2013, 02:15 PM

FWS - former wayward spouse.
To me, it sounds like you are still very angry. Plus you have someone new in your life which helps. 13 years and 4 kids is a lot to give up. Yes, I realize she gave it up first but you now have a chance to save it.

It is possible to reconcile but it takes two. Has she shown any remorse at all? Did she kick the bf out or did he dump her?

As FWS, you have to be prepared to live with our past decisions, but that doesn't mean others, like our spouses cannot forgive and rebuild. Sometimes it just takes time and commitment.
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