1lostintranslation

I have posted here a few times about my situation. Was engaged to a wonderful man. Him 32 (2 girls 12 & 9) Me 27 (3 girls 8, 6, & 5) We now have a beautiful son together who is 4 months old.
Long story short we were suppose to get married back in Aug 2012 he moved out that moved instead. A lot of silly stuff. To be honest it was never anything that SERIOUS like cheating, lying.
Well I can say I was needy during my pregnancy and he was not as available due to work and school. When he moved out tried to move on he wanted me to move to his town in a few months and I said no. I was too hurt at the time.
Well I've realized after having time to get over some hurt that I really want to have a real shot at this. We both have done this on occasion. I told him today I was to move up there. He said he was confused. He said there was a lot damage and that we hadn't treated each other the greatest. I told him that I thought it was now about recovering and moving on. He told me that is what you do when you have a foundation. He felt like a failure with me since he had let me down in many ways. I told him we can start anew and I am done blaming him for things of the past. He told me that He was not ready to give me the things I needed. (He is getting ready to start a labor intensive 2 year medical program).
I am not sure what to do here? Any advice? I love this man dearly and don't want to lose him or my family. He says time heals a lot of things but I think it will only hurt here since we aren't in a relationship. This allows for people to date other people and/or move farther apart. I look at it like either we are working on being together or working on being apart.
Now I will say this man tells me he cares deeply for me, and always will. He cares about me like he has never cared for anyone. He did say something yesterday, "Until I feel good about myself I can't go on with you or anyone else". I guess I am just confused and looking for any ounce of hope here?