Reconciliation / Passion / Boundaries - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-09-2013, 02:54 AM Thread Starter
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Join Date: Dec 2010
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Reconciliation / Passion / Boundaries

I find myself falling in love with my wife all over again since she signed the postnup. It wasn't just that she did it but how she did it really proved something to me, I never felt that loved for a long time. We are still seperated but it's getting increasingly difficult to enforce space. We need our space to work through our issues but the more time passes, the more I just want her back home so we can all be a family again.

I can't go back on our agreement to make sure we stick to our plan regardless of our feelings for each other, and I have been firm with my wife thus far but I can tell she does get disappointed each time she realises I wasn't going to break no matter what she has done for me last few months. The worst case scenario is her moving back in and all our progress in terms of practicising new healthier dynamics goes out the window.

Anyone have advice? Words of encouragement? Are we doing the right thing still?

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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-09-2013, 03:49 AM
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Re: Reconciliation / Passion / Boundaries

Stick with your plan. I think it's good for the two of you to spend some time really missing each other. It will be motivation to work on the things you both need to do.
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-09-2013, 04:31 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Reconciliation / Passion / Boundaries

Yeah, in a way I guess it's like we're still rebuilding from scratch. We're living the lifestyle that we had during our honeymoon which was before marriage, but as soon as we moved in together, boom. Have to make sure the foundations are strong this time.

It would be funny if in the middle of all this she decides to call it quits. Saying no to one's wife sometimes takes being ready to lose her... it's getting harder now with the feelings coming back, I think I like it better when I was in lockdown. Felt like I could do anything, was a machine! Bah! Flesh and bone
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-17-2013, 06:20 PM
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Re: Reconciliation / Passion / Boundaries

I think elegirl hit the nail on the head. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-18-2013, 05:51 AM
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Re: Reconciliation / Passion / Boundaries

Absense does make the heart grow fonder but its false.

Remember why you are doing this. Things are not gonna change over night so this space is needed.
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-21-2013, 05:49 PM
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Alberta
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Re: Reconciliation / Passion / Boundaries

All I can say is....
If you are truly focusing on working on your life, you will be excited to do things for yourself. Yes, you will miss her, but you will WANT to do other things. That takes time.

Do you have scheduled time every week for working on yourself? A day to yourself? A list of things to do, things that YOU really want to do?
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