One more thing, a question for everyone I suppose...
Our ten year marital anniversary is just a few weeks away, and I'm still not sure what I should do for her/us. We're "back together" but by no means are we romantic or physical yet.
CDBaker, has your 10 year Anniversary come and gone yet? What is the legal Alimony and Long Term relationship timeframe where you live? In the state where I live, it's 10 years.
If I am married to my soon-to-ex-wife after our 10 year Anniversary next Spring, then it's considered a long term relationship, and if one spouse is awarded alimony, it could be for LIFE (unless the spouse getting the alimony re-marries). I make 12 times more than what my wife earns,.... so I could end up paying alimony for LIFE.
Let me also say, that I was married to my current W, then divorced for 2 years, then re-married for almost 10 years the 2nd time around, and we have one child together. I thought the 2 year split would let us both grow, heal, figure things out,.... and we reconciled, remarried, and things were great for a couple years,.... but I ultimately discovered that the W's childhood trauma has cursed her FOREVER with a horrific mental illness and dysfunction in intimate relationships.
We are preparing to divorce a 2nd time now, she still lives in the house (cause she can't afford to move yet, and doesn't realize she doesn't hardly make any $), and I believe she is actively looking for her next victim and dating. I confronted her on it, but she denies it. Although I know her, and when she get's all dolled up and heavy makeup, etc,...
Rationalize it all you want, because that is natural, and what I did for a long time. But i have come to a level of acceptance, that my W is not capable of loving me in the way I was hoping might still be a "possibility". I mourn the loss of what I thought my life was going to be with her and our family, which is why I stuck it out for sooooo long. But, there is no saving this dysfunctional union.
She is a like caged animal that is yearning to run wild. This all stems from her low self esteem, CSA trauma, and trust issues.
Dude, it's all part of the illness. I don't know what if at all your W has, but something is NOT right.
I for one, can no longer walk on eggshells.
Check with your lawyers on that 10 year alimony issue.