TheHubby

Before I met my wife I smoked (cigs & weed) & drank. I quit smoking (gigs) and began drinking less. I still get grief from the wife. I have now changed to just drinking on weekends & not alot, but still same stuff.

After working all week long, I like a few beers even though I can actually use one every nite after a 15 hour day. I figure it is a small price to pay for all the work I do.

I don't think I am addicted but I do enjoy a drink every now & then. Is this too much? Coming from someone that drank heavily every day. Do I need to stop or should I continue?

GAsoccerman

hmmm tough one....As much as I love my wife, I also love a good beer.

Why does she want you to stop? Do you get angry? upset? Any major change?

Is she very religious and feels that it is un-holy?

There has to be a reason.

My wife does not mind my drinking at all and I know I am not addicted. How do I know? Currently on the night shift, 10 on 4 off...those ten days I don't have 1 beer, because I have to go in at night, why get tired? Why risk getting pulled over with beer on my breathe or my boss?? not worth it at all.

But whenever I drink I usually only have 3 beers maybe 4, nothing more, Stomach doesn't like it.

My wife grew up in a house where her dad always ahd a beer in his hand, while it may take him 2 hours to drink 1 beer, he enjoyed the taste, he sipped it while working around the house.

So she was used to a man with a beer, but he never got mad. I am also a "happy" drunk when I drink to much...I am sure if I was mean it would be an issue.

Sorry I can't help you, but you need to find out why it bothers her then figure it out.....For my wife she just tells me to make her a drink, I like to create fruity drinks for her

Liza

Maybe she has had some bad experience from the past where she was abused by a drunk relative or something like that. Where you smoking and drinking before you got married and did she know that? I ask because it would be unfair for her to ask you to change so suddenly.

demora

It doesn't sound like you are addicted...but I guess my question would be when you drink on the weekends, is it a beer or two or do you get drunk every weekend? I don't see a problem with a beer a night...a 6 pack a night would be a little extreme.

My husband drank a lot when we first met. He pretty much stopped drinking but not because I asked him to. When we got together it was just sort of a life style change for him. I'm not a big drinker and then we both got our CDLs, we rarely drink. It's not worth it to us to be stopped with alcohol on our breath at all and risk our CDL.

carmaenforcer

Hi The Hubby, like you I have tone down my partying big time since I've met my Wife, in part because I don't have that singles life style I had before. The social drinking every Thursday (that's our Friday around here, college town) or hanging with my pot head friends and getting baked all stopped because I am a Daddy and a Hubby now. No big deal, but I still liked to smoke a bowl every now and then, BIG DEAL because my Wife is completely anti-pot. She was 19 when I met her and so barely about to start her drinking experiences and so after we got together we would host drinking parties on a regular with close friends and she saw nothing wrong with that because alcohol is legal.
I still smoke from time to time but have to still keep it from my Wife and so I feel like a junky or like i have a problem but I know that I don't.

I don't think you have a problem and I would suggest trying to talk with her and maybe reach an understanding.

I hope you have better luck than I did.

TheHubby

Ok, I'm back. Sorry, I had to buy a new computer.

Anyway, I told her I am not drinking alot & I won't be quitting anytime soon. It is the one last thing I have to actually enjoy & relax with that I had before I married her. I am not doing any harm, I am not driving & I am only going to sleep after my drinking. Though I aim to get drunk, it never gets that far before I sleep.

She had no response to that & accepted it. As long as it doesn't affect the kids or us she is happy.

I am even drinking even less now because I go to the gym so we should be fine.

tater03

I don't see much of a problem by what you are describing. I do want to ask what happens when you don't have it in the house? Do you get crabby or take money you might not have to go get some? Just trying to figure out why she might feel you have a problem.

Unhappy in LA

Just be careful. I thought for the longest time that my drinking was not a problem, and all it took was my marriage failing to throw me into binging/using.

Drinking is not "relaxing", it is helping you forget.

The real question is what are you trying to forget?

TheHubby

If I have no money for it, which is rare, I just don't have it. i don't get crabby or anything, I just like it to relax. After a 15 hour day & would rather have a beer than dinner sometimes.

I am not trying to forget anything, I lack sleep & it helps me get to it much faster if it is really helping anything.

football80

Maybe your wife loves you and wants you to be healthy. Having beer everyday can really mess up your liver. A lot of people have stressful jobs, but that's life, and not everyone only uses alcohol to help them with stress. I think you might be leading yourself to a problem, if you think having alcohol is the only way to relieve stress and to reward yourself after a long day of work, especially if your aim is to get drunk. Then the excuses will be "I'm upset with my wife" "I'm happy I got a promotion" "A relative died" etc. There will always be an excuse to drink, and that's probably what your wife is worried about--you becoming a drunk or messing up your liver. Try more healthier ways of relieving stress, like you mentioned going to the gym--that's great, reading a good book, meditation, playing board games with your family, going out with your family to play miniture golf or bowling. There are so many things you could do.

Russell

If its hurting your relationship... its a problem man.

__________________
Hi, my name is Russ, and I'm a recovering alcoholic.
Sober since 27 March, 2008.