My Wife is addicted to online Sexual Role Playing - help me

Atholk · 02-04-2010, 04:03 PM

This is not a master/slave deal, it's just an EA with some kinky sex talk.

DameEdna · 02-09-2010, 07:49 AM

Limbo_SA

I was in exactly the same situation as your wife. I became obsessed with BDSM online. I had a perverse need of playing not only the "slave" but also the "mistress!"

Yes.... the guys your wife chats to ARE perverts.

But... to cut a very long story short.... I did it because I was experimenting, discovering, learning new things.... in the "safe" environment of my home.

I was also bored, I had a low self esteem, and I was depressed. I spent A LOT of time at home alone when the kids were at school + hubby was at work.

Does your wife have enough to occupy her during the day? Now I work part time and although I still use the computer, I am no longer interested in the pervy stuff.... as I said, it was just experimenting and discovering new things. Believe me... the sexual high from something "not real" does not last!!

I stopped because I got bored..... doing it online was not enough to satisfy me anymore..... my OWN marriage was the way to become satisfied!!

Please dont despair..... her fantasy world has just got out of hand, just like mine did. There's only SO much you can experiment with online without testing it for real.... and I doubt if she would want to go with a complete stranger.... Not when she has such a loyal, loving and wonderful husband as you!

baabaablacksheep · 02-12-2010, 02:03 AM

Maybe I don't have room to talk because I'm married to an emotionally distant lazy guy who I have posted about, but anyway, here's my two cents:

#1 - You have low self esteem and you need to change that. Have you heard, "don't let somebody be your priority if you're merely their option" - this sounds like your situation. Honestly, it is like the story where two women were arguing over a baby and who it belonged to. One woman wanted the baby to be cut in half so they could both have (part of) the baby. You're like that woman - you'd rather have half of your wife than no wife at all. What's even the point? If you truly loved her, you wouldn't be able to stand the thought of sharing her.
#2 - Your wife is a liar and a cheater. You can't trust her. Marriages are built on trust and honesty.
#3 - In real life, outside of the bedroom, I don't see how anybody could be turned on by somebody who is a doormat to a cheater.

Stand up for yourself, stop hoping she'll read your mind and tell her "I know you're f-ing around online. It's me or him. Period."

If she chooses, him, well, it's better to be alone than with somebody who disrespects you so much.

Big Bear · 02-12-2010, 11:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Limbo_SA

No doubt she enjoys the domination side but I am not going to change who I am. Yes in the bedroom I am more than willing to do this but it seems she wants it full-time and this is something I can not do

To this extent I think this is why she wont confess to having a master. By not acting I do run the risk of loosing her I know, something that scares me more than death itself. I just need to work out the right way to deal with this with her, more precisely the courage to confront her. I am at a point now where living with the pain and still having her in my life appeals to me more than confronting her and loosing her forever - warped I know

What hurts me is that she doesn't think what she is doing is wrong. Can she really think being in an online relationship with another man while married is okay. I part of me hopes that this is just a phase in her life that she is going through and that it will pass

I have voiced my disapproval, no direct accusations, and now we will wait and see what happens. I have indicated that I love her very much and that we can get through anything together, if she wants this marriage to work she needs to take the next step

Strange, I am probably the exact opposite type of person that she is currently attracted too but I have to believe that she loves me, she married me and we have had such good times

Our distance over the last year is what drove her towards this craving attention. We have spoken about this and agreed that we need to work harder at our marriage so I have to believe she wants too

So you want her to change who she is but you won't change who you are? What you are doing is talking to people who are in no position to help you. You have turned to complete strangers and somehow managed to rationalize not talking to her. Unfortunately for you, confronting her is the only way to make any real progress. What about her scares you so much that you can't he honest with her either?

mujer_rota · 02-12-2010, 04:27 PM

this thread is EXHAUSTING... I couldn't read all of it BUT. She takes comfort in BDSM chatting with this man because YOU have not been fulfilling. She needs to also seek help, not just you. IF she wants the marriage to work, that is. And YOU need to grow a pair and confront the lying B! geez... and if all she does it tell you there 'is nothing to worry about' you need to save your own life/self and get far far away from her. Nothing about this situation is healthy, and you playing dumb HOPING it will all just go away is completely ridiculous..