my husband is addicted to chat lines--im trying to keep my head up! - Talk About Marriage
Relationships and Addiction Whether it's drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, pornography, or anything else, addictions can be detrimental to the health of a relationship.

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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 03-23-2010, 04:50 PM Thread Starter
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my husband is addicted to chat lines--im trying to keep my head up!

I've been married to my husband since October. He is seven years younger than me (Im 30 and he is 23). I knew before we got married that he had a problem with phone sex lines and and internet and phone chat lines. I had an idea that this might be an addiction, but I chose to marry him anyways. I love him more than anything and I love being with him. I understand the components of addiction as my father is an alcoholic/addict and my ex boyfriend was an alcoholic. I am very glad this isn't a drug/alcohol addiction but this is very hard on my self esteem. I am overweight and older than him. He says he loves me and is very attracted to me and that he wants to stop but I am developing an obsession with checking the phone bills, looking at the computer history, and the his email. I am setting up an appointment with a marriage therapist that specializes in addiction-im going alone. He says he will go if he does it again. I just really need some support right now from those of you who have been through a feeling really inadequate!
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 03-23-2010, 06:06 PM
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Re: my husband is addicted to chat lines--im trying to keep my head up!

i feel for you and know that this is hard. I have been there and know how things online can take your husband away from you emotionally. Hang in there, keep your head up and know you can get through this. you will have to figure out what is best for you. I found some info and posted it on my blog if you want to look at it u can. Have a great day and know you are special.

Amanda H
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 03-23-2010, 09:09 PM Thread Starter
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Re: my husband is addicted to chat lines--im trying to keep my head up!

Thanks. I feel myself constantly thinking about it and wondering what he is thinking about. I can never compete with the rush he is getting out of chatting. I keep praying to let go but its so hard. Im obsessed with his addiction.
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 03-26-2010, 12:38 PM
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Re: my husband is addicted to chat lines--im trying to keep my head up!

Sexual addiction issues are the toughest to learn to manage because, by nature, we are sexual beings. We have heard from several addicts, their addiction to drugs/alcohol was easier to get over than their sexual addiction issue.

In the long run they are all destructive. It sounds like he is listening to you. He should attend counseling with you while he is sober because justification is part of an addiction and addicts are good at it! If he goes to counseling and just sits there, he will hear stuff that will start him pondering. This is a young marriage and there is hope but it will take both of you.

You mentioned that you have a history of addiction from family and friends, one thing to realize what is happening in the brain. We have created a presentation that explains this. You can watch it here: Two-part Brain

You don't have to input your name or anything. Watch the video and a gain a better understanding. Many have expressed a lot of appreciation for the knowledge they get.

Wish you the best!
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