Getting Married but he has a porn addiction

needhim · 05-27-2008, 07:17 AM

I am only 21 years old and I am married with one daughter..my husband is 25. Everything has been going great except for his porn addiction

(although he wouldnt call it this)...Recently all my husband does when he has spare time is look at porn. At the LEAST he finds something on the internet once a day and just recently he bought magazines to keep in his car. This wouldnt bother me so much if it wasnt taking time out from sex that we could be having. Also i have made MANY advances at him,..even dressed up but he just says things like NO... or im Not in the mood. Completely turning me down when i just saw him looking at porn minutes ago. I really dont know what to do and i cant believe this is happening to me so young. Also the women he tend to look up are nothing like me!... I am 5 feet and 105lbs and white/asian.... how the hell am i supposed to transform into a black woman,.. or a grandma,.. or a woman that weighs 400lbs. Its not realistic and its physically impossible for me to compete with these sick fantasies

I cry every night about this because i dont feel wanted or loved anymore. I dont feel like enough for him and i would do ANYTHING he asked me to. BUt it is so hard to compete with those women. If thats what he wants i cant give it to him but how do I cope with that?

swedish · 05-27-2008, 08:04 AM

I'm pretty sure if you searched on porn addiction you will find one of the red flags is that you choose porn over being with your partner. Maybe you should print something off for him and start that discussion?

It sounds as though you've exhausted other avenues in trying to get his attention and I think you're right...he has an addiction.

Amplexor · 05-27-2008, 09:08 PM

You need to very clearly explain to him how this make you feel. That it hurts you and is hurting your marriage. If he understands that then he will have a better chance at honoring your wishes as a husband. This may take time but it can get better. Good luck.

Russell · 05-30-2008, 08:23 PM

Occasional porn is one thing... most of the time porn is another. When you catch him doing his porn thing... immediately.... go down on him. See what happens. Might open new avenues of.... research.... for both of you.