Re: Married to Maybe the Most Functional Alcoholic Ever, and Ready to Walk
Wait - he's functional, successful. Your problem (it seems) is that he's physically and emotionally distant. Alcohol appears to cause him no problems. Even you said so, yet you're blaming alcohol. Fix the marriage. Somehow communicate with him, whatever you think will get the message thru in your situation, no matter what it takes. Just impress upon him the ONE thing you'd like him to do (NOT quitting alcohol), make sure he understands it's important, that you WILL leave if he can't fix his end, and then check again that he UNDERSTANDS what you're saying. There is NO reason he can't simply be as successful treating you well as he is in other facets of his life. I'd also give odds that if he can do that (be closer, more considerate), his need to use alcohol will at least lessen a bit.
When my wife finally made me understand she wasn't *****ing, she was unhappy, and that she would not be ignored, it came close. But then when she communicated that if I loved her, and most importantly, if I meant what I said in my marriage vows, if I was a man of honor, I owed it to her to consider her feelings and needs. It worked, and the marriage was great.
I would also bet that one of the reasons he drinks is he's bored, and pretty much has the same problem you do, but just doesn't know it. He thinks he stuck in a tepid marriage. If the two of you can work on just one facet of your relationship, you can go from tepid to torrid quite fast.
I ended up worshiping her, and realizing she took very good care of me and was always at my back. I will love her forever.