Re: Married to Maybe the Most Functional Alcoholic Ever, and Ready to Walk
I think your best step is to look at moving out as part of an attempt to FIX the marriage. Counselors often urge separation so that the two people can become un-entwined with each other, and figure out what their real thoughts and beliefs and wants and needs are. Once you're out, there's a great chance that while having to learn to stand on his own two feet without you enabling him, he has taken you SO for granted that he can't believe he did it to you.
Like my H literally can't understand all the stuff I do every day; to him, I barely do anything. He doesn't see the 20 to 30 chores I accomplish each day to keep HIS life easy.
With you gone, your H is going to have to face that. See all the ways in which you enabled him to not face his demons, ways you made his life great with no worries, allowed him to do what he wanted. It will take that kind of realization for him to finally respect you. Once that happens, it's possible to span a bridge across y'all's divide.
So be proud that you're the one taking a step to create a possible new, loving marriage. Of course, he may choose not to do anything. And that's fine, too. You'll be free to live the life you needed to.