Anyone of you in a long term relationship smoke weed?
Well having come across this forum only this evening this post prompted me to sign up and comment.
Speaking from my own experience, I can say that weed contributed largely towards ruining my first marriage. 14 years, four of which were married. The fact that it took ten years to get her to agree to marry is actually one symptom of it.
She Smoked from the start, I had done very occasionally while I was at college, but I had stopped because I didn't like the affect it had on my head.
She told me that she only smoked typically one spliff a day, but after we were divorced, mutual friends told me that she smoked up to 10-12 a day.
It was very difficult to get anything done. Things like buying a house, building towards a better life would drift... and drift.... and drift.. eventually we bought a house but it was entirely through my efforts and funding. She sometimes had jobs - things below her ability level which didn't require her to think - but somehow her money never made it into the household budget.
There was a big lack of care about her environment - it was impossible to keep the house clean - and the sex dropped away to almost none. She got very enthusastic about some quite whacky projects and then would lose interest after a few days. Nothing got completed or seen through, or planned.
Towards the end of the time we were together things and money started disappearing. Something you associate more with "hard" drugs or alcoholism. However, it did happen.
I had put down the end of our marriage to "growing apart", but I can see that the listlessness, lack of motivation, and the underlying singleminded pursuit of happiness through the weed rather than the marriage is actually a very big part of what happened.
There were at least two occasions when I came back from a few days on a business trip to find her having a psychotic episode.
None of the above did I put down to the weed at the time, however, I have come across quite similar cases and hearing about those and thinking of my own situation, suddenly it all came together, and a lot of "bizzarre" behaviour on her part then made sense.
Yes, cannabis is addictive - Yes there are people in rehab on cannabis only addictions, who have difficulty withdrawing. And yes, like every addiction it takes the number one place in the addicts life - which should be occupied by your spouse.
Using friends are not really friends but fellow users, again like all the other abusable substances.
Those who are addicted to it display all the same lies, manipulation and denial m blame of others, of the other substance abusers. However weed in particular is subject to a lot of denial by its users.
That said, like with alcohol it is possible to be an occasional user. However, to the original poster, you will find that the altered state it puts you in will mean that you will find yourself on a different wavelength to your partner some or all of the time. Even if you are an occasional user that is still something that could come between you. At the very least there is a part of your life that you can't take her to or share with her, at the worst, you are on different planets altogether.
By posting this question you are already indicating that using is important enough for you to ask the question " Don't tell me to stop"..
I'm not doing that, just describing possible consequences and confirming that it can ruin relationships, as you asked.