How to find out if she is Bisexual or not?

snook · 12-28-2010, 10:34 AM

Since we met, my wife has always hung around gay people. She has always claimed she enjoys being around gay people. Particularly gay men. I never thought much about it. I will also like to add that she is mexican. which adds a cultural twist to things as well. But...now we are older, away from mexico, and living in the U.S. She now has hispanic friends in the area she speaks to. Most are gay. But she is close to the gay women in the group as well. She gets gifts from them as well. Should I be suspicious? This seems like a walks like a duck, talks like a duck reference..
I want to add that it is hard for me to monitor her texts or chats because she, i believe, hides alot through her spanish. (i know very little)
She claims she is not Bi. She is a violent and controling person. She gets very angry when i ask her about it. She comes from a strict Catholic upbringing. Something tells me she is afraid to admit it and thinks being gay, her family would banish her..
any thoughts or guidence will be greatly appreciated.

Mom6547 · 12-28-2010, 10:36 AM

Seems to me that if she is violent and controlling being bi is the least of your concerns. But hey, that is me. If she IS bi, would that be a problem? BEING bi doesn't mean ACTING on it. She made vows in marriage. Being faithful is needed. But is being bi bad?

Mom6547 · 12-28-2010, 10:37 AM

Curious why you posted this in the addiction section?

snook · 12-28-2010, 10:48 AM

Sorry I am new, didnt know where to post.
Being bi is not the issue to much, i guess i would just want her to admit it. But by hiding, i get this feeling she might be cheating as well.
Your right. The violent controlling thing is another issue. I link that to her culture a bit so..
funny thing...I have a buddy i go out drinking with and she tried to accuse me for being gay. Said one of her friends saw us kissing.
Total lie. Why is she doing this to me?

Mom6547 · 12-28-2010, 10:54 AM

If I were you, I would focus on

- Do I want to live in a controlling and violent relationship.
- Do I think she is cheating on me.

The being bi is not really the issue so don't place your focus there.

You may get more info posting in General Discussion.

For my part, I would drop kick a violent person to the curb in a blink, especially if you have no kids.

Good luck!

S

snook · 12-28-2010, 11:00 AM

Ok.
I agree. I have 3 kids though. but, i will repost to general discussion. thanks

greeneyeddolphin · 12-28-2010, 06:35 PM

I also think you need to address the violent, controlling behavior.

But, to answer the original question of whether she's bi....I'm totally straight, and I have a lot of gay/bi friends. I'm not friends with them based on sexual orientation; in fact, for the most part, we were friends before I found out they were gay/bi. I don't really think you can apply duck theory to this. And honestly, if she's not cheating, I don't see that it really matters whether or not she admits to it. If she is cheating, I still don't think it matters, because the issue should be that she is being unfaithful period, not that she is being unfaithful with a woman.