I feel my husband chooses weed over me
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Relationships and Addiction » I feel my husband chooses weed over me

Relationships and Addiction Whether it's drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, pornography, or anything else, addictions can be detrimental to the health of a relationship.

Like Tree1Likes

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 01-11-2011, 10:12 PM   #1 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1
Question I feel my husband chooses weed over me

my husband and i have been married for 5 years and we've been together for 10 years. And I feel he doesnt emotionally fulfill me the way he should. To get to the point im upset because every since he got his medical marijuana card his friends have been calling the house for him to go buy medical marijauna for them. And everytime thgey call their he goes running out the whether im cooking and need his help, even if the gas is on empty he will go for them they call over 5 times a day and it's getting really annoying to me he is such a weed head he goes just so he could smoke what hurts me the most is that he doesnt seem to care how upset i get about it because everytime the call thier he goes out the door in my car. what should I do?
nicole23 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 01-11-2011, 10:48 PM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 38
Default Re: I feel my husband chooses weed over me

Smoke a bowl and chill?
Posted via Mobile Device
SteppingStones is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 01-12-2011, 11:56 AM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 
trey69's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,204
Default Re: I feel my husband chooses weed over me

Yes, he probably does choose his weed over you. I know that hurts to hear, however the reason for that would be is, he highly likely has a problem. "Medical weed" or not, his priorities are with his weed and his friends not his marriage.
trey69 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 01-16-2011, 12:27 PM   #4 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 12
Default Re: I feel my husband chooses weed over me

Have you sat down and talked with him about how that makes you feel it in between those phone calls?
Taylor is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 01-18-2011, 04:41 AM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 
RandomDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 8,327
Default Re: I feel my husband chooses weed over me

Pot is actually very easy to quit. But he has to cut out his mates, they will keep him doing it.
RandomDude is online now   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 02-03-2011, 12:10 AM   #6 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 853
Default Re: I feel my husband chooses weed over me

I have been a pothead for five years. I am painfully aware of how much money I wasted, how much time weed took from my engagement and new marriage and how selfish I was. I put myself in potentially dangerous situations by hanging out with drug dealers.
I have used weed to hide from my painful past and literally burn away my trauma. I have also used it as a way to subconsciously rebel against true partnership; I was so scared of losing my identity to my husband. It was the last remnant of my crazy single days.
In the space of a year, 3 of my dealers have been arrested. I've grown weary of being around lowlifes and throwing away money. Most of all, I regret choosing pot over my husband. It is a CHOICE, not an involuntary, uncontrollable action. The downside is that your hubs can only quit when he is ready. It has taken me three years, but I don't even like smoking anymore. I'm ready to grow up and face my trauma, instead of hiding in addiction.
I have even gotten rid of all my weed stuff; no more astrays, papers or grinders. I'm done and your husband will have to smoke his last joint when he CHOOSES to.
Posted via Mobile Device

Last edited by Mrs.G; 02-03-2011 at 12:22 AM.
Mrs.G is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 02-08-2011, 11:04 AM   #7 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 15
Default Re: I feel my husband chooses weed over me

Quote:
Originally Posted by nicole23 View Post
my husband and i have been married for 5 years and we've been together for 10 years. And I feel he doesnt emotionally fulfill me the way he should. To get to the point im upset because every since he got his medical marijuana card his friends have been calling the house for him to go buy medical marijauna for them. And everytime thgey call their he goes running out the whether im cooking and need his help, even if the gas is on empty he will go for them they call over 5 times a day and it's getting really annoying to me he is such a weed head he goes just so he could smoke what hurts me the most is that he doesnt seem to care how upset i get about it because everytime the call thier he goes out the door in my car. what should I do?
'He runs out [to get some] medical marijuana'

Lol, if he leave the house that easy he shouldn't be prescribed medical marijuana.
Mstanton is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 02-11-2011, 04:14 PM   #8 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 2
Default Re: I feel my husband chooses weed over me

Hi, I agree with Mrs. G. I know it is hard to hear but people who choose drugs over their relationships will only quit when THEY are ready to quit. There isn't any amount of fussing, talking, crying, etc that will get him to stop. Talking about the problem usually escalades into an argument in which case he will probably just run out to get his fix with his friends, making you feel worse. I went through a similar situation where my fiancee continually chose weed and his friends over me, and it almost ruined our relationship. It definitely stressed our relationship and killed the trust. I tried to talk to him about it and each time it was a denial or that it didn't really matter and I was just being dumb. Eventually he did quit. He finally realized that it wasn't helping anything to go out with his friends.

The main thing that will help you is to realize that it isn't YOUR fault. I blamed myself, thinking well I guess I'm not making him happy enough so he has to go out and get his fix with his friends. But it wasn't my fault. The more I fussed about it the more he went out and did it just to spite me. It's up to you to say when enough is enough. If he doesn't listen to you or care how you feel then maybe you need to show him that you can make yourself happy. Show him that you don't need him (which is how he treats you when he leaves the house and goes out to get high with his friends). If he still doesn't respond and doesn't care how you feel about it then it may be time to leave. I hope this helps and I wish I could tell you how to get him to listen and to stop, but he just won't until he is ready to.
CarpeDiem is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 02-21-2011, 11:05 PM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 30
Default Re: I feel my husband chooses weed over me

Well, I'm in the exact situation except its weed+alcohol. I certainly feel like his drugs are more important than me.

This thread was really helpful. Thank you.
Maria9938 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 02-24-2011, 10:18 AM   #10 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 58
Default Re: I feel my husband chooses weed over me

Seems like his smoking isn't what's bothering you the most, its the fact that going out to get it has recently consumed his life?

I'm trying to understand why he is SO into going there at the drop of a dime so many times a day. Does he just feel great that he can help his buddies out now? Is he making a little extra cash doing it (say slightly overcharging)? Is he going just so they'll smoke with him (and if so is it a social thing or is he lacking weed himself all the time?)

Can't he just take orders and go ONCE a day or every other day? Seems reasonable.

HOWEVER, you do know that what he is doing is still illegal? If busted he'd be treated just as any other black market dope dealer would be. As owner of a Medical Marijuana dispensary I know that the law says that the marijuana purchased by patients cannot be resold or transferred in any way. He could get in trouble. He should make his friends get their own cards.

One thing I can tell you is that lots of people go buck wild with dispensary shopping after they get their card... BUT the novelty does wear off for most people I can assure you.
VeryShyGirl is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 02-26-2011, 10:17 PM   #11 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 1
Default Re: I feel my husband chooses weed over me

i feel the same way.
sickofcryin is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 02-27-2011, 11:11 AM   #12 (permalink)
Member
 
Runs like Dog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Redneckistan
Posts: 7,784
Default Re: I feel my husband chooses weed over me

FWIW I've never met a stoner who did not blaze up as much as possible as often as possible.
Runs like Dog is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 04-25-2012, 11:34 AM   #13 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 1
Default Re: I feel my husband chooses weed over me

Quote:
Originally Posted by nicole23 View Post
my husband and i have been married for 5 years and we've been together for 10 years. And I feel he doesnt emotionally fulfill me the way he should. To get to the point im upset because every since he got his medical marijuana card his friends have been calling the house for him to go buy medical marijauna for them. And everytime thgey call their he goes running out the whether im cooking and need his help, even if the gas is on empty he will go for them they call over 5 times a day and it's getting really annoying to me he is such a weed head he goes just so he could smoke what hurts me the most is that he doesnt seem to care how upset i get about it because everytime the call thier he goes out the door in my car. what should I do?




your hubby will pick weed over you i have been married now for 3 years have 3 kids and he tells me all the time its the weed over me, it really hurts me but i tell myself its the weeding talking and not him, but then i ask myself , have i ever had him talking to me or has it always just been the weed talking, i dont get what need off him cause he always stoned, but i do love him i know where you are coming from and it does hurt
:(housewife is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 04-25-2012, 11:44 AM   #14 (permalink)
Member
 
Cherry's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 2,161
Default Re: I feel my husband chooses weed over me

Quote:
Originally Posted by VeryShyGirl View Post
HOWEVER, you do know that what he is doing is still illegal? If busted he'd be treated just as any other black market dope dealer would be. As owner of a Medical Marijuana dispensary I know that the law says that the marijuana purchased by patients cannot be resold or transferred in any way. He could get in trouble. He should make his friends get their own cards.
I'd threaten to turn his a$$ in, because ^^^ she is right, and he apparently doesn't care enough about his family to be doing something this illegal. No dif than selling someone's prescription pills on the streets. That should put a stop to him selling dope.
Cherry is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 04-25-2012, 11:54 AM   #15 (permalink)
Member
 
I'mInLoveWithMyHubby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 2,900
Default

I do not agree with pot smoking. My ex h was a huge pot smoker. He once dropped me off at the mall, so I could pick up a quick present for someone. I didn't want to disturb my baby in the back seat, so I allowed her to sit back there while he went to park the car. My daughter did not deserve the second hand smoke.

When I was done and entered the car, I could clearly see he enjoyed a smoke with our daughter in the backseat. I've never been so pissed in my life. I ended up leaving my ex and made him have supervised visits for many years.

He no longer has anything to do with his daughter, he actually hates her. My daughter is a very good girl and never deserved to be treated in that manner.

I'd never allow illegal drug use or pot smoking. I don't judge others who do it, it's their life. I do not want it around my children and I do my best to educate and keep them away from it.

Heavy pot smokers I know are angry at the world. They drive while under the influence and their driving reaction is altered. Just like any other substance, it's toxic to the body.
I'mInLoveWithMyHubby is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.
User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Chooses porn over wife SoTiredofItAll Sex in Marriage 9 08-29-2013 12:21 PM
Weed and Porn msgarcia000 Relationships and Addiction 33 09-30-2012 08:53 AM
Husband addicted to synthetic weed!!! dazedbeauty Relationships and Addiction 26 09-14-2012 11:06 AM
What do you do when husband chooses you??? beachbabe Coping with Infidelity 19 05-14-2012 04:43 PM
Is it possible my H chooses who he wants to be nice to? Everyone but ME?? savannah General Relationship Discussion 11 03-22-2012 03:46 PM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads


Sponsor Ads




Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:33 AM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.