PeasNCarrots

This is the first time I have posted in this section but I figure its the best one.....

A little bit of history here....

My SO and I have been living together for almost 3 years now. When we moved in together he moved to my hometown from about 2 hours away. Sometimes he goes on drinking binges and doesnt come home until the next day. He owns his own business that has been run out of our home and until recently, I was doing most of the office portion of the work due to being unemployed for the past 2 years.

On to the problem/ question..... I finally found a job and was due to start the Monday after superbowl. On superbowl Sunday, my daughter and I were out visiting my family, he was home doing work..... he called me on my cell and told me he was going to the bar/ resturant where we sometimes hang out. When I was on my way home I called him and he was still at the bar so we decided we would meet there for a bit. No big deal, ate some wings, shot some darts, etc. It was time for me to run my daughter home so I left, he said he was going to stay for about 30 min.... we figured that would put us home right about the same time.

I got home and he wasnt there, I waited about 45 min and then tried to call him... he tells me he is going to "so and so's" house.... this person lives in his old town!!! 2 hours away! I told him no, he needed to come home, I had to get to bed to start my new job the next day.... Didnt hear another word. I got up the next morning and hes still not home. Tried calling on my lunch hour, nothing. Sometime in the afternoon I get a text from him saying that hes an alcaholic and a druggie and needs help. (WHOA! SLOW DOWN, DRUGGIE? SOMETHING I DONT KNOW!) Finally got him when I was on my way home and he says he is going to be home in about an hour. It takes me about 40 min to drive home so i figured he would get there right after me..... 2 hours later hes walking in the door.

I asked him about the text and he tells me that when he has pulled the " all nighters" (he always goes back to his old town) that not only is he drinking (ALOT by the way) that he is also doing coke.

Talk about stunning!!! I had NO CLUE! Not a thing to even make me suspect!!!

Sometimes these binges are once a week for 2 weeks and then not again for months.

My question is this..... Is it really possible that the only time he is using coke is when hes been drinking like this? Is it possible not to be what I would consider an addict?

Someone please help.... I have no clue what im doing here and really dont even know what to think. Its been 2 weeks now and im still stunned, not to mention having a hard time not questioning every move he makes or even every word out of his mouth....

Thanks all!
Hugz

Smackdown

Get help quick! Friend first, legal second and pray about every move you make. I feel for ya, been down that road and it sucks! Addiction is a monster all it's own, he will never quit til he hits ROCK BOTTOM and w/ you there holding his hand it ain't gonna happen. I hate telling you this but it is true.
SD

AgentD

My husband is a recovering alcoholic. I'm here to tell you, its not fun, its been a long road, everyone involved got hurt, and you better nip this in the bud unless you are willing to be in for a long road, and fasten your seat belts!

If he truly wants help he needs to enter rehab and/or 12 step program such as AA. It would be extremely beneficial for you and your daughter to enter into a Alanon program as well. Not sure how old she is, but they also have Alateen.

The only other thing I can tell you is, ALL the signs are there right now in front of you, do NOT ignore them, they will not get better on their own.

__________________
"If you always do what you've always done, you will always get what you've always gotten."

lovexlife

wow this brings back painful memories. i have 2 family members who were coke addicts, and it was very hard for me. i was a child and they were supposed to be there, taking care of me, and instead, they were locked in their rooms, and werent answering when i called for them. i was scared, and felt helpless. a few weeks ago, one of those family members (who now has a 6 yr old child) got into some stressful situations, and reverted back to the coke. this was heartbreaking for our family, since he was doing so well without it for all these years, and especially since the 6 yr old asked "why isnt my daddy here to see me go to school on the first day?" you need to get professional help. it is a downward spiral if you dont. since he has told you his problem, then clearly he wants and needs the help. you need to help him get through it so he wont hurt you again! make him realize its not only him who is affected!