My Porn Addiction is back - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
Relationships and Addiction Whether it's drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, pornography, or anything else, addictions can be detrimental to the health of a relationship.

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post #31 of 50 (permalink) Old 11-03-2014, 02:15 AM Thread Starter
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Re: My Porn Addiction is back

HOLY FVCKING SH!T!!!!!!

It is after 1 am I the morning, I have drank a six pack of 16 ounce beers to get sleepy and now there is a woman getting fvcked very loudly in the room next to me!!!!!


You have to laugh sometimes or you might cry!

I can't take the moaning and groaning with the obvious rhythm!

Gonna take a late night walk! SHYT!!!!!!!
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post #32 of 50 (permalink) Old 11-03-2014, 02:37 AM Thread Starter
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Re: My Porn Addiction is back

Update. He only lasted about 3 minutes. Good for me, bad for her.

At least I can sleep. Goodnight.
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post #33 of 50 (permalink) Old 11-03-2014, 09:14 AM Thread Starter
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Re: My Porn Addiction is back

Thanks intheory.

Will look it up.

Update: As tough as last night was, I did not cave to porn.

I slept relatively well and feel pretty good today.

Sorry for the rant last night.

On the bright side. Right before bed Mrs. Conan and I prayed and she allowed me to pray that we would get good at intimacy using tech, Skype, pictures, etc....
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post #34 of 50 (permalink) Old 11-03-2014, 09:48 AM
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Re: My Porn Addiction is back

Conan can you masturbate without porn? Or does that bring bad feelings too?

That would help take the edge off.

Glad to hear you make it through last night. I think pushing your wife to start sexting, skyping, etc is a great idea and would certainly help.

Just think. Only 2 more months and you will be free!

My LONG story: LD Husband Journal
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post #35 of 50 (permalink) Old 11-03-2014, 10:17 AM Thread Starter
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Re: My Porn Addiction is back

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Originally Posted by TheCuriousWife View Post
Conan can you masturbate without porn? Or does that bring bad feelings too?

That would help take the edge off.

Glad to hear you make it through last night. I think pushing your wife to start sexting, skyping, etc is a great idea and would certainly help.

Just think. Only 2 more months and you will be free!
Yes. I am quite HD. I have usually masturbated in binges. Porn is not necessary for me in any way. It is a dark twinge stemming from my past that sometimes grabs me and is hard for me to fight against. I hate it! I enjoy myself in life and sex so much more when porn is not in the picture.

Porn makes me feel dark in every aspect and the world loses some of its' light every time I cave to it.

Writing about it seems to be helping. Some of the pathways of thought that have been introduced seem to be giving me power over the addiction as well. Flying Dutchman helped open a door that I did not know was there.

I can't make out everything through that door yet but knowing it is there and having it open is giving me insight into my behavior.

Yesterday, I had the urge and instead of trying to fight it or wallowing in the misery of the grip it has on me, I immediately was able to associate how crappy I always feel before, after and during porn use.

The grip loosened all the way on me and the urge went away.

I do not know what this means yet but I am very happy today.

That has never happened before. I was in a real bad place yesterday as well and the addiction still lost its' grip on me.

Anyway. Masturbation can take the edge off but really barely cuts it for me. I did find out through all of this that Mrs. Conan masturbates.

It made me feel a lot closer to her and more than a little turned on for her to admit she takes care of herself now and then!
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post #36 of 50 (permalink) Old 11-03-2014, 11:31 AM Thread Starter
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Re: My Porn Addiction is back

Another update:

Mrs. Conan just sent me her first naked pics!!!

I love that woman!
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post #37 of 50 (permalink) Old 11-03-2014, 01:51 PM
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Re: My Porn Addiction is back

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Originally Posted by ConanHub View Post
Another update:

Mrs. Conan just sent me her first naked pics!!!

I love that woman!


So glad she is willing to help you get through this. What a treasure you have.

Enjoy them, guilt free!

My LONG story: LD Husband Journal
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post #38 of 50 (permalink) Old 11-03-2014, 03:18 PM
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Re: My Porn Addiction is back

Conan:

I have the same issue. I went both the drug route and the therapy route:

1 - there are anti OCD drugs that can be prescribed. consult your doctor and see if one will help you.

2 - try to put up as many barriers to your porn access as possible. a filtering program on all your devices, a password lockout on all your home devices (psswd that only your wife knows).

3 - but you're not really going to be able to block yourself from all access. so you might try this. I gave up on "cold turkey" because whenever I fell off the wagon I would get so discouraged (and scared of my lack of control etc). instead decide to see how much you can limit your use. can you cut it in half, cut it by 80%, 90%? keep a journal of time spent with it and see how long you cxan hold out between use sessions. e.g. I have cut my use by 90% - it now is a much less fearsome habit and one I feel I can extinguish eventually.

4 - unfortunately, given what you said about abuse in your childhood, I doubt that a porn addiction is your greatest challenge. I think all addictions - porn, alcohol, gambling etc. are self-medication of some kind. you will always be drawn to this kind of 'medication' until you are able to face and resolve the pain and fear you experienced as a child. Otherwise you are just treating the symptoms (curing the addictions). the only way I know of to get to the root of that kind of problem is through use of a good therapist.
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post #39 of 50 (permalink) Old 11-03-2014, 04:00 PM
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Update. He only lasted about 3 minutes. Good for me, bad for her.
LOL - Not if she got paid up front for the full hour.
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post #40 of 50 (permalink) Old 11-03-2014, 04:08 PM Thread Starter
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Re: My Porn Addiction is back

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Conan:

I have the same issue. I went both the drug route and the therapy route:

1 - there are anti OCD drugs that can be prescribed. consult your doctor and see if one will help you.

2 - try to put up as many barriers to your porn access as possible. a filtering program on all your devices, a password lockout on all your home devices (psswd that only your wife knows).

3 - but you're not really going to be able to block yourself from all access. so you might try this. I gave up on "cold turkey" because whenever I fell off the wagon I would get so discouraged (and scared of my lack of control etc). instead decide to see how much you can limit your use. can you cut it in half, cut it by 80%, 90%? keep a journal of time spent with it and see how long you cxan hold out between use sessions. e.g. I have cut my use by 90% - it now is a much less fearsome habit and one I feel I can extinguish eventually.

4 - unfortunately, given what you said about abuse in your childhood, I doubt that a porn addiction is your greatest challenge. I think all addictions - porn, alcohol, gambling etc. are self-medication of some kind. you will always be drawn to this kind of 'medication' until you are able to face and resolve the pain and fear you experienced as a child. Otherwise you are just treating the symptoms (curing the addictions). the only way I know of to get to the root of that kind of problem is through use of a good therapist.
Thanks for the input. Therapy is where I believe it is going to end up. I have never fully dug into it and maybe I am a little scared.

I have "black holes" in my memory. Places that I am aware of but don't know what is there.

I am probably going to have to go there and see some things I don't want to.
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post #41 of 50 (permalink) Old 11-03-2014, 04:12 PM Thread Starter
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Re: My Porn Addiction is back

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LOL - Not if she got paid up front for the full hour.
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LOL!

I saw them leave this morning. They are a young couple.

I smiled but could not keep eye contact. Hope he ups his game, just not in a room next to me!
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post #42 of 50 (permalink) Old 11-03-2014, 08:42 PM
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Re: My Porn Addiction is back

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Thanks for the input. Therapy is where I believe it is going to end up. I have never fully dug into it and maybe I am a little scared.

I have "black holes" in my memory. Places that I am aware of but don't know what is there.

I am probably going to have to go there and see some things I don't want to.
Have you considered cognitive behavioral therapy?
On the whole it focuses on dealing with present problems rather than delving into the past to much (much more action oriented).
It may be a more comfortable approach.
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post #43 of 50 (permalink) Old 11-05-2014, 01:09 PM Thread Starter
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Re: My Porn Addiction is back

Ok. In the airport and will be with the wife tonight!��

Going to look up a couple of books suggested while I am up there.

Really appreciate everyone giving me input.

Will have an update on Monday.
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post #44 of 50 (permalink) Old 11-05-2014, 04:38 PM
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Re: My Porn Addiction is back

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Originally Posted by ConanHub View Post
Ok. In the airport and will be with the wife tonight!��

Going to look up a couple of books suggested while I am up there.

Really appreciate everyone giving me input.

Will have an update on Monday.
Posted via Mobile Device
Good Luck and enjoy the time!!!
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post #45 of 50 (permalink) Old 11-13-2014, 05:40 PM Thread Starter
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Re: My Porn Addiction is back

Well, the trip was very good and very stressful.

The good.

We were not home 10 minutes from the airport before the clothes came off and she came back for seconds and thirds.

I could have gone for number four but she was pretty destroyed.

We woke up Thursday morning and started again. We did a couple of different, more visual positions including watching ourselves in a large mirror.

That helped me immensely. My memories of it are way better than any visual that comes from porn.

We also talked about what happened with me catching a pass. She was pretty upset but feels better now and still likes our transparency.

The stressful.

We are so in love with each other that it becomes hard to make rational decisions. I stayed too long and really wore myself out getting back to Arizona. I am now sick with something.

My head is pretty fuzzy so I am going for now.
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