I thought I had it mostly under control.
I have had to travel for business for the past 3 months however, and have only been home for about 8 days. While alone on the road, going through the financial and relational strain this traveling is doing to me, I started caving to my old addiction.
I have told Mrs. Conan and we are trying to communicate about it and work through her hurt and my disgust.
What I would like to know is are there any good books on breaking this or any sex addiction.
Background: I do not enjoy watching porn. It makes me feel disgusting and degraded. I watch hardcore porn that is not romantic at all, just raunchy degrading sex.
I was severely sexually, emotionally, mentally and physically abused as a child. This addiction started there.
It almost feels to me like if a girl is horribly abused as a child, she might become promiscuous and let herself be used even though it does not make her feel any better but like she can't help it.
I am going to seek counseling as soon as opportunity allows.
I feel sick and disgusting before and after I view porn. It is some kind of mental/emotional trigger that is very hard for me to resist.
Anyway. I would really appreciate if anyone had some good book suggestions. Maybe I need one on PTSD of sexual abuse as this seems to stem from my childhood.
Thanks in advance for your help and advice.
I have had to travel for business for the past 3 months however, and have only been home for about 8 days. While alone on the road, going through the financial and relational strain this traveling is doing to me, I started caving to my old addiction.
I have told Mrs. Conan and we are trying to communicate about it and work through her hurt and my disgust.
What I would like to know is are there any good books on breaking this or any sex addiction.
Background: I do not enjoy watching porn. It makes me feel disgusting and degraded. I watch hardcore porn that is not romantic at all, just raunchy degrading sex.
I was severely sexually, emotionally, mentally and physically abused as a child. This addiction started there.
It almost feels to me like if a girl is horribly abused as a child, she might become promiscuous and let herself be used even though it does not make her feel any better but like she can't help it.
I am going to seek counseling as soon as opportunity allows.
I feel sick and disgusting before and after I view porn. It is some kind of mental/emotional trigger that is very hard for me to resist.
Anyway. I would really appreciate if anyone had some good book suggestions. Maybe I need one on PTSD of sexual abuse as this seems to stem from my childhood.
Thanks in advance for your help and advice.