Addicted to MUDD - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
Relationships and Addiction Whether it's drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, pornography, or anything else, addictions can be detrimental to the health of a relationship.

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post #16 of 24 (permalink) Old 06-21-2015, 09:34 PM
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Re: Addicted to MUDD

I realize this is an older thread, but I have a lot of experience with this. Posting in case this is still a concern or someone else wanders across this thread. I started playing MUDs in the late 80's and continued with various MUDs/MMOs for decades. At times it was my life - if I wasn't working, I was playing. When I got married, this became a very sore topic. I had friends and history wrapped up in my online games.

What I came to realize is that my partner had to take priority over my gaming. It wasn't easy. When things got rough in the marriage, I would find my way back to the games I loved. In the end, I stopped playing online games. I needed to be able to pause the game, put it down, turn it off, whenever I needed to focus on meeting my partner's and the marriage needs.

If you can set boundaries, where your partner agrees that it's okay for you to play during certain dates/times, then maybe you can get it to work. For me, even if I got an agreement from my partner, she still resented it and led to unnecessary tension. That was her issue (If I'd been studying languages or music she wouldn't have had an issue with it) but it wasn't worth the tension in my marriage to continue playing online games.

To answer the original question if it's addiction - I don't know. It really depends on how you define addiction. Does it negatively affect your work or relationships? If it does, then it's still something that needs to be addressed.
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post #17 of 24 (permalink) Old 06-21-2015, 10:26 PM
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Re: Addicted to MUDD

The OP hasn't posted anything on any of her threads (or anywhere else on TAM) since mid-March... I doubt we'll see her again.

~Happily un-married since December 9, 2013~
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post #18 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-06-2016, 11:51 AM Thread Starter
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Thanks for everyone's insight... Yeah I kept playing..

And the inevitable happened.
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post #19 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-06-2016, 12:14 PM
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Re: Addicted to MUDD

What's the inevitable? You had an affair, or your husband left?
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post #20 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-06-2016, 03:32 PM Thread Starter
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post #21 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-11-2016, 03:38 PM
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Re: Addicted to MUDD

Are you reconciling with your H? It may be difficult waters to wade into, but you may want to put your story in coping with infidelity. You may get some 'aggressive advice', but if you can handle it, it's your best chance at saving your marriage.

Assuming you want to.
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post #22 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-11-2016, 09:25 AM Thread Starter
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I appreciate your advice. I've scaled back on playing my MUDD and we're working on our relationship.
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post #23 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-11-2016, 07:42 PM Thread Starter
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I didn't have a full blown affair. I just had a week or two where I got kinda caught in fantasy online. No I love yous exchanged or anything. Just pm discussion of how easily we could if we didn't watch out.

I have since cut that person completely off and blocked every form of communication with them. My heart is in finding out if hubs and I have anything worth saving. There's Lots and lots and lots of backstory.
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post #24 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-12-2016, 08:14 AM
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Re: Addicted to MUDD

Quote:
Originally Posted by KimatraAKM View Post
I didn't have a full blown affair. I just had a week or two where I got kinda caught in fantasy online. No I love yous exchanged or anything. Just pm discussion of how easily we could if we didn't watch out.

I have since cut that person completely off and blocked every form of communication with them. My heart is in finding out if hubs and I have anything worth saving. There's Lots and lots and lots of backstory.

Might be best to stop playing all together for a month. Not for your H, just for you. To prove to yourself you can, and to break the dopamine cycle. Once you are 3 weeks or so out from those effects you'll think much more clearly about a number of things.


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