Re: Functioning Alcoholic
>>>>>"I am 39, and have been together with my husband for 20 yrs, married for 14 with 2 wonderful children. I always said I never want to marry an alcoholic, and turns out I did. When we were younger and dating of course we would go out and drink, but I feel like I grew up and he didn't. He runs his own business, so he is usually at the bar by 3pm, home by 5 and continues to drink from there. He is not abusive when he drinks, it is when he isn't drinking he is impatient, tempermental and argumentive. I actually prefer him with a couple beers under his belt as he is happier and more interactive with the kids when he drinks, but it doesn't stop at a couple. Then there is the other thing, because he drinks, his lovemaking has become very sloppy where he turns me off before he can turn me on, and I can't wait for it to be over."<<<<
i'm sure the sexual result to your husband's drinking is more common than you know...y'know when i was drinking, i used to have this fear...it goes like this: what is going to happen when i retire? am i gonna be drinking all the time? because it seemed like that's what i did with my free time. so instead i left myself NO free time, consequentially no free time with my family, which my wife resented...i replaced drinking with work, became a workaholic, did the same with fitness for about a year, became a gym rat...thing is, your husband (if he's like the rest of us ALCOHOLICS) will not listen if you tell him your concerns...we've learned to lie to ourselves about our problem pretty good...he's gonna have to hit his bottom to see how bad it is...have you given him the ultimatum? you'll only do that when it's gotten bad, so maybe you haven't...give him the opportunity to get help...be prepared by having literature to present to him...but dude is heading for a major life crash...i believe...
>>>>"I don't know what I hope to get out of this forum, maybe just some insight from others. I just feel ripped off, cause when I signed my marriage certificate, this isn't what I signed up for.<<<<
of course yoiu didn't sign up for alcoholism...but remember what you DID sign up for: sickness and health, ok...he's sick, and you are going to be too...remember this...it's an insidious disease...one that's gonna make you say "oh, no...that's not us"...until one day it IS you... good luck, you've come to the right place...
NOTE: see the above two posts? draconis and sparkle were both posting as i was writing, i didn't see them before i wrote this...sound similar???
separated, honoring wife and family daily, she deserves the best me i can give her.
4 kids g18, g12, g11, b7
Last edited by voivod; 11-14-2008 at 12:57 PM.
Reason: added last paragraph