Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Ontario, Canada
Re: Cigarettes deal killer for me and she has been sneaking them for years?
As someone who has quit smoking, I can tell you that it was very, very difficult for me to quit. I quit cold turkey, and I figure it was 3 years before I was totally over it. If she's managed to essentially hide it from you this long, it means she cares, but that she is not strong enough/has no desire to quit, so I don't see it as a problem. If she ever starts lighting up in front of you, and blowing smoke in your face, then she doesn't give a d@mn, and that is a big problem.
If it were me, I'd keep hounding her about it whenever it becomes noticeable, and ignore it when it isn't (that's what my brother's wife does to him lol!). Others have chastised you about having no boundaries, but this is really where your boundaries are already. Keep them there and you shouldn't have a problem.
Sometimes, particularly with women, you can get them to quit by grossing them out. Seek out the book "The Cigarette Papers" (ISBN: 0520213726) and see if you can get her to read it. When she reads about some of the ingredients that have appeared in cigarettes over the years (automotive anti-freeze, benzene, formaldehyde, wood chips etc.) she may very well decide that she's had enough...