When will it end? - Talk About Marriage
Relationships and Addiction Whether it's drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, pornography, or anything else, addictions can be detrimental to the health of a relationship.

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post #1 of 2 (permalink) Old 06-19-2015, 07:12 PM Thread Starter
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Mamabear3's Avatar
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When will it end?

My husband is addicted to the xbox one. We have been together for almost 5 years. Three children ages 4,2,5 months old(all boys) He has been playing the xbox since we dated. But it wasn't this bad. He works Monday-Friday. Right when he comes home(5 pm) he is on the game until sometimes 3am. He is here but he isn't here...the kids are dying for his attention. The kids do everything to make him talk to them. He used to play with the kids, help me with the kids. But now thats not the case. He acts like he doesnt see or hear anything that is going on. I'm a stay at home mom. He doesn't help with any housework...its like pulling teeth just to get him to take out the trash. I'm at the end of my rope with him. If I still lived in the same state as my family I would have been left. I'm trying to get him to take the job where my family is so I can leave him!
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post #2 of 2 (permalink) Old 06-19-2015, 08:24 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 33,713
Re: When will it end?

Are you a SAHM?

How has your sex life been? Is either or both of you disinterested in sex now?

I will not stop until either you leave him or you scare the living daylights out of him. I've been through this and I was stupid because I did not dump him as soon as he started this nonsense. Wasted years of my life.

First off you need to know what you want in very clear terms. Get the books "Love Busters" and "His Needs, Her Needs" they will help you think this out.

Get yourself situated so that you can file for divorce and be ok if he does not come up to the plate. See a lawyer, make sure you know your complete financial picture, etc. Have your list of love busters and your needs.

Then you sit his behind down and tell him that unless he stops the gaming and rejoins your marriage and your family it is divorce. Have a pretty good idea of what the divorce will look like.

Let him know what you need from him in order to continue in the marriage. A few of the things are:

1) Marriage counseling.
2) He reads "Love Busters" and "His Needs, Her Needs" with you and works through what the books say to do.
3) The two of you have to spend a minimum of 15 hours a week together, just the two of you doing things that you both enjoy. (this is basically dating in marriage that is necessary to maintain passion.)
4) He has to spend time very day with the children.
5) No more than 3-5 hours a week gaming, surfing the web, etc.

Then give it 6 months and see if he maintains the changes. If he does, give it another 6 months and go like that. Keep the pressure up.

If he says no and/or says yes but does not make real changes, serve him with divorce papers and move on.

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