Relationships and AddictionWhether it's drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, pornography, or anything else, addictions can be detrimental to the health of a relationship.
Hi . . . I've been having some issues with alcohol (for a long time, but it's really come to a head over the past 8 months or so). I've been able to get it mostly under control, but I keep messing up. My wife's been on me to goto AA (she's been going to Alanon meetings). I've been to a couple AA meetings and know a bit about the philosophy, etc but just don't think that it's for me. I've done some web searches and there's so much out there (how much is valid, I don't know). So if anyone here has any suggestions for other routes, I'd appreciate hearing about them. Thank you.
Good for your wife going to Alanon meetings, thats a really good/positive thing for her.
Have you tried going to other AA meetings in your area? There are usually more than one meeting place. It could be you just haven't found the right group yet that makes you feel welcomed and belonged.
If you haven't been to counseling yet, that might be helpful as well. AA is wonderful and can be helpful with the sobriety part, but usually you need a counselor to get to the root of the real issuses for why you had the behavior to begin with. Good luck!
I have a call into the therapist I worked with to get over my depression and a call into AA. 2 guys have since called but I;m feeling a little starker' Anyway -any other adivce will be welcomed.
I am in AA and I have to tell you, the unbelievable support with people who understand me and my motives, lies, perfectionism, control issues together with huge fear issues and isolating have been a continual comfort.
It is not easy, let me tell you. But if you are serious about improving your life, getting a new and better life then AA will benefit you immensely.
You will have hard work (but anything that is worth something takes hard work) and you will discover things about yourself that are painful but the rewards....BIG
I can honestly say now I am glad I am an alcoholic because I have a network that is worldwide. Any city, any country I have friends and I will never feel isolated with my hangups and problems again. I need never ever be alone again.
Sparkles - - thanks for your post. You're now the second person that told me "I'm glad I'm an alcoholic". this brings to light an interesting perspective.
Gypsy . . . good question. My mother did Overeaters Anyamous years ago. It helped her for awhile but once she dropped out of the program, she was never able to get her weight/eating issues back under control. I guess part of my fear is that it won't work for me and then what??? (I know - if I don't try it, I'll never know). Also, I've been to a couple of meetings and felt that i couldn't related to the people there. "I just don't have issues like THEY do" - I would think. But perhaps I really do and have not yet accepted that. In the past couple days, I have been blessed to hear from a couple of people that caused me to change some of my thinking about it.
And, I don't deny I have a problem but I am not ready to label myself an alcoholic for the rest of my life (is this completley contradicting or just cowardly or something else)?
Hi . . . I've been having some issues with alcohol (for a long time, but it's really come to a head over the past 8 months or so). I've been able to get it mostly under control, but I keep messing up.
You keep "messing up" as is super duper common because on a survival level alcohol is triggering a survival instinct to your brain stem. While AA is the best we had for many many years, the failure rate is huge.
I have also had success with a therapist who taught me about mindfulness, how to use yoga. Another good topic to read about is nutrition.
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My wife's been on me to goto AA (she's been going to Alanon meetings). I've been to a couple AA meetings and know a bit about the philosophy, etc but just don't think that it's for me.
Me neither. I had a hard time trying to make up a higher power that I did not believe in so s/he could help me.
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I've done some web searches and there's so much out there (how much is valid, I don't know). So if anyone here has any suggestions for other routes, I'd appreciate hearing about them. Thank you.
Mom6547 - so the methodology in this book helped you? If so, I will check it out. This is the type of feedback I was looking for. There's so much stuff out there it's impossible to know what's what.
And I'm not completely writing off AA.
I am seeing my old therapist tomorrow to begin working on this.
If you live in the United States, you should be able to call 211 (it is free and is supported through United Way). They can tell you about drug/alcohol resources in your area.
Alternative to AA 
