viviann11

My marriage... (and I have to even laugh at typing the word - sadly) is in the toilet - after years of emotional abuse - and years of pretty much drinking every night 75% of the time (him first then me just falling right along with it (btw - I know that I am responsible for my own behavior - not blaming him for it just how I cope) - I just don't see how I can keep going like this. I want to leave... SO freaking bad. And we all have them the stories I could tell... Does it make sense to anyone - that I don't think I can deal with my own issues living in a mess like this?

stupad

Viviann... I've been a long time alcohol abuser too and working to get that part of my life fixed. It's the one part that's really screwed up. My wife stopped drinking months ago (she would have an occasional glass of wine ot two - not a big deal). She gave it up in hopes of helpng me. I've made progress but still have a ways to go.

I couldn't imagine trying to get my drinking under control if my partner wasn't and had no intention to stop. It sounds like you've come to terms with your issues and he has not done the same for his. Get out of the mess and get yourself together then you might be able to help him or end the whole thing in a clean state of mind. Good luck!

Jamison

"We both drink to avoid"

Thats usually how it goes with people who drink or do drugs. Its all about numbing whatever pain you have in your life.

I would suggest you seeking out local AA groups in your area. You can't do anything about your husband but you can about yourself. Maybe if he sees you are going and willing to change he might do the same.