Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Away and beyond in a hot place
My husband is on a bender again
My husband has started drinking almost every day in the last 10 days. He comes home around 9pm from work, he hangs out with his colleagues after work at the bar near his office.
I thought he was getting better but that is the problem always hope. I know the drill, not to engage, not to enable, not to be co-dependent, realise that alcohol will be his first love. I am glad the kids are not here to witness this but I don't know if I am strong enough to last the time I need to finish my studies and get out of here.
As the tag line for the forum says 'addictions can be detrimental to relationships' I know his drinking has damaged our marriage.
I fought with him this evening, I couldn't help myself as I get the crumbs, work gets his best, his buddies his second best and I get the drunk man who was supposed to take me for a movie. That is the ugly man no-one really sees. Needless to say I am now sitting alone in a coffee shop mad as hell but also cut up inside. I shouldn't be surprised I have been on this roller coaster before and I thought that I was getting better at handling it but obviously not.
He threw a lot of crap at me tonight. Brought up the fact I don't wear my wedding ring, I have explained to him why I don't. He broke his wedding vows when he committed adultery.
He broke his vows and I didnt want to renew our vows when the opportunity arose as our marriage was crap. He took off his and said he didn't want to wear his either - like I give a d****. He then went on about how much he works and earns and does, and what do I do? I am working part time, keep the household, pay expenses, take care of dogs, study, have taken care of kids, who have just left for college. I kept the household stable during all the years of his drinking and irresponsibility, now he asks what have I done? WTF! In fact all he does is work, play golf and drink!
He came back later looking for his ring and i said I threw it away (I still had it on my desk) but he is not getting it back. He got angry thumped the door and called me a stupid cow. Nice.
I have been to al anon, it helps though in our area it is not always on. i am going back to IC this week coming. I have to hang on for about a year or so. I have been offered my job full time but with my studies, i do not want to commit as it will be hard to manage as work is a good hour each way from my home.
Anyway, I just wanted to vent a bit, the amount of crap I have put up with, one day I know I will be free of either it or him. That is what keeps me going. Thanks for listening.