He texted me, and told me that I need to work on getting well. He has no reason to say that, but it makes me feel stupid - like I'm mentally ill or something. I've never in my life had depression before this divorce. I do have GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) but it is well controlled through medication, and really the only time the medicine didn't help was when ex just left me - and for a good several months after... They readjusted dose, and added something (Klonopin) to help - and it did... Now I'm back to my regular dose, and don't use the Klonopin.
I think he's saying it b/c he knows I'm right, and he's trying to make me feel bad.
He's trying to manipulate you/make himself look like the good guy. A guy like this--even when he says things that appear to be generous and heartfelt, it's most likely not heartfelt and not generous. It's most likely a way to manipulate. He's painting himself as the good guy, and trying to make it look like your GAD is responsible for your behavior. He's trying to make you think that YOUR behavior isn't rational, because if he can convince you of that, then maybe he can convince you (read: manipulate you) to re-start the relationship.
Don't fall for it.
Yeah, I don't know why I don't tell my family anymore. I USED to. I used to go to them all the time, with my ex husband, and the divorce and everything. I think it's more just like, I've failed once - and I don't want to look like I'm failing again. I don't even tell my friends. The only friend that knows is the one who is going through a divorce herself - and she comes over all the time - so, she knows him for how he is, just like I do. She tells me I need to get rid of, but.... I don't listen b/c she's all anti-men right now... and I just figured well, she doesn't know. But... She did.
My guess would be... pride. How many of them told you not to get involved with a new guy so soon, but you went and did it anyway? You didn't want to admit that he wasn't as great as you previously thought, because that would mean that they were right. It's a normal thing, pride, but there's a reason it's a vice... if you can let go of your pride and embrace humility, it's incredibly freeing and leads to better choices, which leads to a better life and more contentment.
I blocked his #, but the why it's seeming to work is - it just mutes him, his texts still come across - but, they are silent, and don't notify me of them - until I open them for something else - then I'll see his. I bet there is a way to block the #, I'll call Verizon.
Do a Google search on how to mark someone's texts as spam on your type of phone. It's based on what type of phone and operating system your phone uses. That may be more helpful than calling Verizon. OR go to a Verizon store and and talk to an associate who uses the same type of phone that you do--they know all the tricks.
This is going to be hard
I don't even know why... I wonder why I've had a problem with guys being nasty to me like that. First my ex, now this one. It almost seems like I'm making it up, b/c how can that happen twice in a row like that. Oh well, I know for a fact I didn't do anything wrong... Plus, reading about alcoholics, seems this is what they do. Place blame.
You didn't do anything, wrong, but your picker might be broken. That's why it's important that you go back to IC and STICK WITH IT. You didn't do anything wrong, but you are the one who a) chose men with emotional problems, and b) didn't recognize it and tried to stick with them. Why would you do that? You need to figure that out, and you need to fix that in yourself--otherwise, this is going to happen again. The only person who can stop that cycle is YOU. You need take ownership and responsibility for the role that you played in allowing these dysfunctional relationships to begin and/or continue. If you can't do that, you won't be able to fix whatever is leading you to make these [poor] choices in the first place.