Loyal

My wife was ordered into a yearlong heroin rehab program after our second child was born positive tox. (The first one was, too).

99% of my friends and family told me it was time to move on from her, and I honestly weighed that possibility, but ultimately decided that giving her another chance would be in the childrens' best interests.

It was almost like a fairy tale 2 months ago when the four of us were finally together for the first time.

But here's the problem. My wife says she no longer feels attracted to me, and attributes it to preparing herself mentally for the possibility I'd leave her for good during our year apart. I did in fact tell her that we'd probably never be able to all live under the same roof many a time during her rehab.

NA tells members not to get into or out of serious relationships in their first year clean, so I wonder if she just needs time to adjust and get back into "civilian" life. If her feelings for me are really gone, I really regret moving heaven and earth to get her back in the home. It's great having her there for the children, but I feel hurt, lonely and angry. Selfish, I know, but this just isn't satisfying.

I'm just looking for advice from people who might be able to relate. Thanks!

ItHappenedToMe

Bless you for your tender attitude toward your wife. It is not easy where you are.

Yes, without you near she's likely fallen out of feelings. It happens just as easily with married and living together folk who fall out of contact. No attention, no interaction, lost feelings.

Your feelings are all quite expected. Realize it recovery doesn't end with the end of rehab.

Hang out and play with her, alone and with the children. My bet is it will return. You're merely dealing with the results of a long separation.

Hope to hear more from you.

__________________
The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
And that lawn has to be tended, too.

Grieving? Where are you: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression or Acceptance?

ItHappenedToMe

Loyal, meet Stupad.

Recovery being sabotaged?

Flip sides of the same coin.

Hope you can learn from each other.

__________________
The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
And that lawn has to be tended, too.

Grieving? Where are you: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression or Acceptance?