Relationships and AddictionWhether it's drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, pornography, or anything else, addictions can be detrimental to the health of a relationship.
I see a difference, one is supplied visual the other requires your own mental imagery. I don't see porn as a bad thing when used in the right hands. thank you i'll be here all week.
Seriously folks, for me the older I get, the less appealing porn is, especially that macho alpha male directed Gonzo style porn where the girl is used as a slab of beef. 98% garbage 2% good imo...Vivid is a company that you can rely on for generally good quality. Wife and I have watched Vivid stuff and she likes it.
Jesus says that if you so much look at another women with lust in your heart then you have commited adultry with her in your heart.I also believe that this works both ways.
If a person is looking at porn then they are not as interested in you as they say.I also believe that even though he or she might not cheat right now they will give some serious consideration to it in the future because they have laready taken the first step.
You have a point Drac - except that no one gets exploited in the making of the stories, nor does any money change hands - I read the free ones on the web.
So you think it is wrong?
I dont think those are wrong. I love erotic books.
LJ interesting you don't like porn but find erotic books OK.
Sure i dont even mind books with drawings. just as long as its not 'real' people 'really' doing it. I actually took a class on sex and religion and we went over hinduism. very cool stuff.
Sure i dont even mind books with drawings. just as long as its not 'real' people 'really' doing it. I actually took a class on sex and religion and we went over hinduism. very cool stuff.
that brings an interesting point up. erotic art, drawings, they're not "real people." how about artist depictions of obviously underage people? should that be considered illegal the same as photos and video of under-18 people?
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separated, honoring wife and family daily, she deserves the best me i can give her.
To be honest, I don't know if Porn is a bad thing...
I don't think that God loves people for watching it. But I think it depends how you use it in a relationship... If you watch porn and leave your partner besides you, turned the other way because you feel uncomfortable, than this is a BAD thing... How can you prefer playing with your self, only please yourself than sharing love to your partner! It's not about Sex in a marriage, for me it's more about making LOVE, sharing affectionate and LOVE and not just to be pleased. I think porn is in this case just to please themselves. And making Love is something personal not everyone should watch you doing it.
But however you can use it in different ways to, for example to get ideas, or for whatever reason.
I'm more against than for it. I learnt beeing OK with it, but I could live for sure 10000 % without it!
I don't know but this morning I realized that I start hating my H for that and I don't want to. I love him and don't want to give up our marriage just for a sexual problem.
He blames me, that I am the problem because I'm to weak accepting these things... He sayed he wouldn't care if I would do stuff like that... I don't know what to thing about that.
I'm very frustrated right now. Every woman or man is different...
He blames me, that I am the problem because I'm to weak accepting these things... He sayed he wouldn't care if I would do stuff like that... I don't know what to thing about that.
I think that is a cop out...he is disrespecting your feelings and using the 'it's no big deal...everyone does it...lighten up' excuse to brush this off. In reality, if it's affecting your relationship with him, it's a problem.
He wouldn't care if you did stuff like that...so what? You are 2 different people. What if you were both financially strained right now but you decided to spend $300 on shoes every month and he was totally upset about it...in this case your response could be that women love shoes and he needs to be stronger and more accepting of these things...and you wouldn't mind if he did it. I'm guessing that wouldn't fly with him...and this is shoes....porn can be a whole different animal, where insecurities and feelings of being 'not good enough' can easily creep into your mind.
I think that is a cop out...he is disrespecting your feelings and using the 'it's no big deal...everyone does it...lighten up' excuse to brush this off. In reality, if it's affecting your relationship with him, it's a problem.
He wouldn't care if you did stuff like that...so what? You are 2 different people. What if you were both financially strained right now but you decided to spend $300 on shoes every month and he was totally upset about it...in this case your response could be that women love shoes and he needs to be stronger and more accepting of these things...and you wouldn't mind if he did it. I'm guessing that wouldn't fly with him...and this is shoes....porn can be a whole different animal, where insecurities and feelings of being 'not good enough' can easily creep into your mind.
yes and this is in my mind!!! this is how I feel!!! I know that I could never hold with someone out of a porn and thats why I'm not a pornstar , Iam who Iam! I really think it might be true that Iam not good enough for him. He never told me that, but he told me that pornos sounds turn him on and so on, and I don't do this noises... isn't the most in porn just fake ??
why should i make noises that lound when he doesn't even "deserve" them. (I hope you know what I mean with deserve!)
My guess is that he's used porn to satisfy his sexual urges for so long that he may be addicted to it...I honestly doubt that he feels you are not good enough, but I can totally understand why you have that fear. As far as you doing things to please him, there is nothing wrong with variety and adventure in the bedroom but you need to be comfortable with it or it will only make you feel bad and likely will not do it for him if you are not into it.
If my husband said he liked the noises, i'd probably make him an audio tape with my voice...but I would have fun doing something like that and leaving it for him to find.
As far as noises go, I think it varies from one woman to the next...I should keep Duct Tape on my nightstand, but that's just me
I mean , one time I did and he told me to stop twice.
That makes me feel now uncomfortable to try it again.
I have sometimes that feeling that he doesn't want to tell
me what exactly he likes. I know he likes clothes. Mostly black.
He doesn't like to do it naked. This was no problem, we cut a hole in some stalkins LoL
It's not that I don't want to make him happy. I did a lot of things with that I have never done with someone else before, and I would do everything to please him!
But what is about me. Sometimes he does good stuff , too and he is a great H , I love him very much , but this thing YES it is an addiction and he knows that bothers me a lot.
I tryed to be ok with it but when he started to play with his self while I was lying next to him (a couple times already) with watching pornos or while I'm in the bathroom taking a shower, I just get a weird feeling.
I always wanted a man that can wait for me ( and I love having Love, we did it almost every day, sometimes twice)
Now he needs a break? ok, but take your breake, but actually a brake is not doing anything!!! Or if you really need it go in the bathroom and don't tell anyone!!! But I think he wants me to know.
I think Porn can be a healthy part of a relationship if it is shared. My problem is that it has taken the place of my sex life and was viewed secretly and that has hurt my feelings, as I am not an inferior to the woman portrayed.
Re: Just a porn question
thank you i'll be here all week. 
