He choose alcohol over me
It's been a while since my last post about my H's alcohol problem. Things got really bad about 5 months ago and police was involved etc. Then I decided to go thru with separation but he came crowling back saying he wants to try his best and going to AA meetings which he did for 3 sessions only. Then he decided to stop going saying that he is not that bad and he realise that he doesnt want to be like that so he stop drinking for almost 4 months, everything was perfect, he was such a wonderful person without alcohol, I thought we were so happy together. Then slowly he allowed himself to go there again, having light beers only, just one then two then more. Then he went to the snow with his mates who I know loves drinking and taking drugs and stuff, so there everything is coming back. He kept extending his stays as he enjoys being with them drinking and I am not there to watch him or for him to feel guilty about coz I cant see. But I know what he is doing. We kept arguing everytime we spoke. Things just never been the same after that, he is back to his alcoholic problem and he ran away everytime we argue and dont come home. He would try his best to say the most nastiest meant things and hurt my feelings so bad and left me alone. Today is 10days that he hasnt been home. I told him I dont want to be with him if he choose to keep drinking. Then he said to clean up the study room for him to sleep there and I did. But ever since he never use the room and gave excuses that I left stuff in there etc, just to make my life difficult. I am so sad and disappointed that he would choose alcohol over me, I did everything to help him, look after him like a king and still I am not good enough for him as he still need to drinks. He kept saying he is not an alcoholic but he spent all his money again, using the home loan to pay his debts and now his creditcard is maxed out, running out of money and expect me to pay for the house renovation as he has no money. Not once he realise that he spent his money in alcohol and cigarettes and going out with his mates. I am so broken hearted and feel so sad but I dont want to live this way even though i love him so much. maybe there is no cure with alcoholic? Or he will be happier with someone else who is better than me?