I'm an A and have been in recovery/clean and sober for a little over 3 years now. I'm not really sure what you are asking about what an A goes through early in recovery. I can say from my own experience my brain was a scrambled mess for about a year. Everything, even small things, seemed like a really big deal and my memory was terrible, but around about a year sober everything seemed to calm down. I think the ole brain chemistry finally healed. I think you are doing the right thing by focusing on yourself and going to IC. I too went to MC early in recovery which is kind of a joke when I think back to how crazy I was back then, but ,whatever, it worked. So who cares?
So how is your marriage now? In a good place?
My WAH has been relatively high functioning, managed to hold down a high powered job and not get kicked out in spite of some bad drunken missteps,
He could drink an awful lot but had not got to the stage of hiding bottles around the house though he didn't have to as he was out working late (i.e. in the pub after work) or travelling through airports (lots of alcohol available in airports, planes and hotels).
So i guess his body needs to heal. He did tell me in MC that he also needs the space from our separation to deal with his problem at AA. he has only managed to deal with step 1 of the 12 steps and that has taken him almost 6-7 weeks! At this rate he will cover the 12 steps in 2 years.
The MC is good, we are making progress tiny steps but it is enough for me as I want to see if he means what he says and will keep sober.we do not see each other much as we do our own thing, though living in the same house so I guess the MC keeps us in touch and I think that is necessary as we both could probably walk away.
We no longer fight, so I love the peace and calm.
The limbo though is difficult sometimes and I sometimes grieve over what we have lost and just want it to end.
I realise if we do stay married it will have to be a completely new marriage relationship as we have to unlearn all of the ways of coping and communicating of the pass.
Although his drinking is top of the list of issues there are others. The mC says we must go slowly.
I am hearing stuff that i never thought about from him, he is opening up and I see how much I have hurt him too. It is raw. I never thought working through issues could be so difficult.
I admire couples who decide to work on their marriages, give it their all as I think walking away is sometimes a much easier option.
So from your post I guess it is safe to say, I should not expect too much in the first year? and just go with the flow. i think i might go back to al anon.