Wife's Serious Weight Problem - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
Relationships and Addiction Whether it's drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, pornography, or anything else, addictions can be detrimental to the health of a relationship.

User Tag List

 91Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #16 of 73 (permalink) Old 06-23-2016, 02:05 PM
Member
 
Maricha75's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 7,206
Re: Wife's Serious Weight Problem

Also, Bibi, it is a last resort for *anyone*. From the OP, it sounds like she *might* be about what my top weight was before I had mine. Yes, those first 18 months are crucial after surgery. Still, even after, she could go right back to her old eating habits.

Sure, bariatric centers would be an option... if one is close enough to get there. My surgeon did not work at one of those centers. He did, however, have a dietitian, nutritionist, and psychologist who worked with him, with the patients.

So, please, I am asking again, don't call it a cure, because it is NOT a cure. And don't push OP toward this as his best and *only* option. It absolutely is not. It is *still* something to be used as a last resort, regardless of the level of obesity.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk

You can use the 2x4 without adding nails to it.
Maricha75 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #17 of 73 (permalink) Old 06-23-2016, 02:10 PM
Member
 
Bibi1031's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: texas
Posts: 1,355
Re: Wife's Serious Weight Problem

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maricha75 View Post
Bibi, I am speaking from experience. I know it is covered. I know what it entails. I have gone through it. This is why I am emphatic that you do NOT call it a cure. It is NOT a cure. Even after weight loss surgery, you can STILL gain weight back. And many ARE able to eat the same things they were told not to consume after surgery. It is a tool, nothing more. And if you don't address the underlying issues FIRST, it won't make a bit of difference, in the end.

Oh, and some insurance companies DO require that you attempt to lose some weight, first. Yes, even now, they want patients to keep food diaries and try weight watchers, etc. People in my area have had to do this as recently as a few months ago.

So, like I said, I know what it entails. Bottom line, she needs to see her doctor to find out why this started in the first place, before she even THINKS about surgery.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk
You are right. Cure is definitely the wrong word here, but it is the most effective tool for most morbidly obese people.

People, if not careful can fall into old habits, that is a given and that is their choice as well. That doesn't mean these types of surgeries haven't been extremely successful with most patients.

I agree with the poster that stated binge eating may be this OP wife's problem. I was specifically talking about getting rid of her 400 or so pounds, and how her mother humiliating her was not helpful at all. Bariatric surgery will accomplish the weight loss if the patient sticks to the recommendations of the professionals, but not the emotional issues that got her there. That is why there is a team of doctors and not just the doctor that performs the surgery, but you already know that.

Good things come to those who wait...greater things come to those who get off their a$$ and do anything to make it happen.
Bibi1031 is offline  
post #18 of 73 (permalink) Old 06-23-2016, 02:22 PM
Member
 
Maricha75's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 7,206
Re: Wife's Serious Weight Problem

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bibi1031 View Post
You are right. Cure is definitely the wrong word here, but it is the most effective tool for most morbidly obese people.

People, if not careful can fall into old habits, that is a given and that is their choice as well. That doesn't mean these types of surgeries haven't been extremely successful with most patients.

I agree with the poster that stated binge eating may be this OP wife's problem. I was specifically talking about getting rid of her 400 or so pounds, and how her mother humiliating her was not helpful at all. Bariatric surgery will accomplish the weight loss if the patient sticks to the recommendations of the professionals, but not the emotional issues that got her there. That is why there is a team of doctors and not just the doctor that performs the surgery, but you already know that.
Again, not always. My mother followed her doctor's directions. She did what she was supposed to do. She still didn't get all the nutrients she needed and died because she wasn't healthy enough to fight an infection.

I was over 400 pounds, Bibi. I had the same surgery my mother haf. My surgery worked for me. But I, along with others I know who have gotten bariatric surgery, all agree that it is *still* a last result... even if the patient is over 400 pounds.

There are SO MANY things that can still go wrong, even after surgery, that point back to that surgery. I can't even begin to count how many of my weight loss surgery (WLS) friends have had to get iron infusions because their iron levels have tanked. Want to know the real kicker? Their insurance doesn't cover the infusions. So why don't they take iron pills, right? Funny thing about that... our bodies don't absorb them. So, yea, even morbidly obese... it is far better to at least *try* nonsurgical weight loss before taking the surgical route. It is FAR from easy, regardless of the method employed.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk

You can use the 2x4 without adding nails to it.
Maricha75 is offline  
post #19 of 73 (permalink) Old 06-23-2016, 02:40 PM
Member
 
Bibi1031's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: texas
Posts: 1,355
Re: Wife's Serious Weight Problem

What type of bariatric surgery did you opt for?

Oh I know that like with any other surgical options there are risks. That is true for most of the medications we are prescribed as well. The risks are explained and also the percentage of people that may suffer from these risks. It's not easy, that's for sure.

Good things come to those who wait...greater things come to those who get off their a$$ and do anything to make it happen.
Bibi1031 is offline  
post #20 of 73 (permalink) Old 06-23-2016, 02:53 PM
Member
 
Maricha75's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 7,206
Re: Wife's Serious Weight Problem

Quote:
Originally Posted by blueinbr View Post
Have your tried iron pills? Our doc was W, because of her serious condition, taking ferrous gluconate, not the ferrous sulfate. Is your comment about lack of absorption meant for all people or just those with bypass surgery?

From what I know (very little) bypass surgery is major, and there is risk of complications and death. OP needs to research all options provided by the medical experts and help his wife decide what is best option for her.
I have been fortunate, as far as my iron, so far. 12 years since I had mine, and no issues so far. But iron pill absorption has been an issue for people who have had roux-en-y as well as duodenal switch, I know for certain. I think even some lap band patients have had issues. The pull doesn't get absorbed properly. It's because the intestinal length is not there to facilitate proper absorption (for RNY & DS). No idea why the issue for lap band. But, it's the reason we (women) were/are told to use TWO forms of birth control... and the Pill is NOT effective.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk

You can use the 2x4 without adding nails to it.
Maricha75 is offline  
post #21 of 73 (permalink) Old 06-23-2016, 02:54 PM
Member
 
Maricha75's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 7,206
Re: Wife's Serious Weight Problem

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bibi1031 View Post
What type of bariatric surgery did you opt for?

Oh I know that like with any other surgical options there are risks. That is true for most of the medications we are prescribed as well. The risks are explained and also the percentage of people that may suffer from these risks. It's not easy, that's for sure.
My mother and I both had roux-en-y (RNY). But I have seen these issues with more than just the RNY surgery.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk

You can use the 2x4 without adding nails to it.
Maricha75 is offline  
post #22 of 73 (permalink) Old 06-23-2016, 02:55 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,325
Re: Wife's Serious Weight Problem

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maricha75 View Post
Again, not always. My mother followed her doctor's directions. She did what she was supposed to do. She still didn't get all the nutrients she needed and died because she wasn't healthy enough to fight an infection.

I was over 400 pounds, Bibi. I had the same surgery my mother haf. My surgery worked for me. But I, along with others I know who have gotten bariatric surgery, all agree that it is *still* a last result... even if the patient is over 400 pounds.

There are SO MANY things that can still go wrong, even after surgery, that point back to that surgery. I can't even begin to count how many of my weight loss surgery (WLS) friends have had to get iron infusions because their iron levels have tanked. Want to know the real kicker? Their insurance doesn't cover the infusions.So why don't they take iron pills, right? Funny thing about that... our bodies don't absorb them. So, yea, even morbidly obese... it is far better to at least *try* nonsurgical weight loss before taking the surgical route. It is FAR from easy, regardless of the method employed.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk

I'm severely anemic have NOT had WLS and can't absorb iron. As a result I get Venofer iron infusions on a regular basis. They are administered in a chemo clinic so you sit in a recliner for hours and chat with fellow patients. I've met at least two dozen WLS patients who get iron infusions all were covered by their insurance (we actually talk about what we are paying out of pocket). Some ins. won't pay until the patient is clinically anemic, some won't pay for Venofer (the most expensive form) until the patient has tried cheaper brands. Again I haven't had WLS and I still had to try oral iron before I was approved for infusions by my insurance.

WLS patient do face expensive supplementation for the rest of their lives. But I know obese people that chase expensive "fixes" (most of which fail) for their weight problems. I have two guy friends that are morbidly obese, they spend a fortune even with insurance on pre-diabetes meds, cholesterol meds, CPAP machines, orthotics for their shoes, and their restaurant and booze bills are astounding. Not to mention the cost of the discrimination they face being turned down for jobs or passed over for promotions because they are obese.
kristin2349 is offline  
post #23 of 73 (permalink) Old 06-23-2016, 03:04 PM
Member
 
Maricha75's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 7,206
Re: Wife's Serious Weight Problem

@kristin2349, yes, some insurances cover it. Some don't. I know about how it's administered because of the WLS friends who have had to get it lol. One has had bad reactions to most. She even ended up being hospitalized a few times because she looked like, as even her doctor stated, "death warmed over"... yikes! Her insurance, I THINK, might cover hers. Not certain, though. Another, a nurse, WAS covered by her previous insurance, but the new policy won't. They keep saying it is because of her WLS 7 or 8 years ago, actually, and that's why they won't cover it. So, she has to come up with $3000/infusion, or she doesn't get it.

I'm just glad I haven't had to worry about that, at this point. I keep expecting it, though. 😕

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk

You can use the 2x4 without adding nails to it.
Maricha75 is offline  
post #24 of 73 (permalink) Old 06-23-2016, 03:12 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,325
Re: Wife's Serious Weight Problem

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maricha75 View Post
@kristin2349, yes, some insurances cover it. Some don't. I know about how it's administered because of the WLS friends who have had to get it lol. One has had bad reactions to most. She even ended up being hospitalized a few times because she looked like, as even her doctor stated, "death warmed over"... yikes! Her insurance, I THINK, might cover hers. Not certain, though. Another, a nurse, WAS covered by her previous insurance, but the new policy won't. They keep saying it is because of her WLS 7 or 8 years ago, actually, and that's why they won't cover it. So, she has to come up with $3000/infusion, or she doesn't get it.

I'm just glad I haven't had to worry about that, at this point. I keep expecting it, though. ��

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk

Insurance is a PITA. My infusion clinic charges my insurance 5K per infusion (patients with no insurance coverage pay on a sliding scale) and I need to get a series of 4 - 2 weeks apart. The real treat is it sometimes inflames my liver, which sends me to the ER and lands me in the hospital for a few days while they treat it with a NAC IV. So my insurance pays another 50K for that.

I've recently had some success avoiding infusions with a new supplement that has been effective for WLS patients, it is called Profferin. There are also chewable and liquid forms or iron that work for some WLS patients. I'd highly recommend Profferin to anyone who is trying to avoid an infusion.

Last edited by kristin2349; 06-23-2016 at 03:18 PM.
kristin2349 is offline  
post #25 of 73 (permalink) Old 06-23-2016, 03:35 PM
Member
 
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 1,225
Re: Wife's Serious Weight Problem

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maricha75 View Post
@Bibi1031, weight loss surgery CAN help, but it is no guarantee. First, they need to find out what triggered this switch. She cannot even get the surgery without going through psychological testing as well as attempting weight loss without surgery. She will even have to go through some physical tests. And, weight loss surgery is not a cure. I really wish people would stop calling it that. It is a lifestyle change, and it isn't foolproof, either. She COULD go back to those poor eating habits, even after getting surgery. So, right now, he needs to get her to see a psychologist, to find out what caused this... and to her primary doctor as well as *maybe* specialists. WLS is not her only option. It is a tool, only to be used as a *last* resort!

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk
Yeah, if someone is so compelled to keep eating that they can't stop
even when they're physically full, it seems weight loss surgery could make matters much worse. There are a lot of draw backs to it.
WorkingWife is online now  
post #26 of 73 (permalink) Old 06-23-2016, 03:41 PM
Member
 
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 1,225
Re: Wife's Serious Weight Problem

It definitely sounds like she has a serious emotional, physical, or hormonal problem. I would insist she see specialists about this specific problem.

When I hit menopause I found I wanted to eat all the time, even when I was full. Then I got my hormones straightened out and my appetite returned to normal. Of course even at my worst I was nothing like your wife, I'm just saying that hormones can affect appetite and this did start at middle age.

Hopefully a specialist will help. I would insist that if she wants you to stay married to her, she consult a dr. who specializes in this type of thing (surely they exist?) and you go to the first few consultations with her to support her and to make sure her Dr. gets candid answers because it would be normal for her to feel to embarrassed to tell the whole truth about some things.
WorkingWife is online now  
post #27 of 73 (permalink) Old 06-23-2016, 04:05 PM
Lon
Member
 
Lon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 6,873
Re: Wife's Serious Weight Problem

Sounds to me like something physical has gone wrong with her body, something that has triggered her appetite or prevented her from feeling satiated, gastric bypass is not the answer she needs to see an endocrinologist or neurologist to determine what hormonal glands or organs have failed.

never knowingly appropriate
Lon is offline  
post #28 of 73 (permalink) Old 06-23-2016, 05:13 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 250
Re: Wife's Serious Weight Problem

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maricha75 View Post
This, I completely agree with. Unicus, I may not agree with everything you say, but this is SPOT ON!

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk
Quote:
Originally Posted by blueinbr View Post
Ugh. Me too. I agree.
Well, thank you! Maybe it's time to re read those things you've disagreed with in light of this? It comes from the same set of sensibilities.

I shall endeavor to be clearer in the future!
Unicus is offline  
post #29 of 73 (permalink) Old 06-23-2016, 06:41 PM
Member
 
Maricha75's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 7,206
Re: Wife's Serious Weight Problem

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unicus View Post
Well, thank you! Maybe it's time to re read those things you've disagreed with in light of this? It comes from the same set of sensibilities.

I shall endeavor to be clearer in the future!
Ehhh... no. In one other thread, you told me that I have no idea what I am talking about regarding male sexuality and porn use. While I don't know about *every* man, I do know about my husband.

But that is a different topic. The reason I agree with your advice on this thread is because it is sound.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk

You can use the 2x4 without adding nails to it.
Maricha75 is offline  
post #30 of 73 (permalink) Old 06-23-2016, 07:40 PM
Member
 
AngelHeart888's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 45
Re: Wife's Serious Weight Problem

Your may be suffering from a combination of emotional and hormonal problem. Emotionally, she is in a LOT of pain, and she is trying to desperately numb it with food.
Did she experience any kind of trauma in her life just before she started to exhibit this behavior? Is it possible that she might have been sexually assaulted?

Forget surgery. She needs to get a thorough medical exam, including blood work, as well as psychological counseling to figure out what the source of the pain is, and how to process it in a healthy manner. After that, surgery and dieting may be an option, but nothing will work until you figure out what's causing the turmoil.

If the problem is merely physical, such as a hormonal imbalance, that can be fixed relatively easily. If it's emotional, that will take more effort.

Joining a good support group, like OA, may also be advisable.

The last thing your wife needs is for people in her life to shame her and cause her added pain.

Last edited by AngelHeart888; 06-23-2016 at 07:58 PM. Reason: to address physical factors
AngelHeart888 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Wife's suspicious behavior... TrustShaken Coping with Infidelity 54 02-20-2016 05:19 PM
Awakening My Wife's Desire GoodFunLife Sex in Marriage 173 02-15-2016 10:52 AM
How important is sex when choosing a mate? Need serious advice lawdawg Sex in Marriage 64 01-26-2016 04:52 PM
I finally found out the truth of my wifes infidelity....Help PVman Coping with Infidelity 72 01-18-2016 12:33 AM
Wife's work girlfriend wants to go to gentlemen club lifeisbetterthanalternat General Relationship Discussion 24 12-07-2015 03:33 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome