Is she self-medicating? Does she have depression or anxieties and the pot is helping her deal with that?
She's built up a tolerance, which is why she uses so much. There's a reason she feels the need for it all day long. It's important to know what those reasons are.
You won't be able to change her, so you need to decide whether it is acceptable to you. #2 and #3 on your list would cause me some concern about her habit, and I generally have no issues with people smoking weed vs drinking alcohol. Does she have a JOB?
I was thinking self medication, too. Why? Because I was self medicating the same way before my state legalized medical use. I have depression and anxiety. I have tried multiple meds, but have had some severe side effects including being unable to orgasm, being unable to feel emotion, intense stomach pain, intense muscular pain and so on. I had been a long time social/recreational pot user and knew that it can help with depressionand anxiety, so I began smoking on a regular schedule. Not enough to get high, but enough that I felt calm and relaxed. I go through 1/2 oz. every 14-20 days on average. The cost is approximately $125. Herb has been very effective and I have had no side effects. It's also considerably less expensive than my former perscription co-pays.
Pot and coffee keep me functioning.
Speaking of functioning, that is a big one. I have no problem with recreational drug use. I have no problem using non-traditional treatments for physical or mental health conditions if they work. I do have a problem with using anything to the point where it interferes with daily life and normal functioning. I am SAHM. I am responsible for all of the housework, all of the yard work, all household repairs and replacements, all auto repairs and replacements, all pet care (3 dogs, 1 cat, 1 tortoise, and 1 parrot), scheduling appointments, bill pays, grocery shopping, and about 1 million other things. If I couldn't perform my duties correctly, safely, and efficiently while treating with pot, I wouldn't be using it.
If this woman is functioning normally and regulating her own use, I wouldn't consider it a dealbreaker.
OP has said that she seems to prefer being at home and isn`t very ambitious. That could be the pot, but it could also simply be who she is as a person. I know plenty of sober women who are homebodies whose only ambition is getting the housework done before settling in to watch their shows.
If she's stoned all the time, I'd wonder what she's trying to escape from. But that's just me.
Unbe, personally I recommend avoiding any relationships with people using illicit drugs, and would also recommend stopping usage for you. Not out of some moral hazard, but simple risk reduction. Most people who use / associate with those who do use drugs aren't aware of Civil Asset Forfeiture
, whereby the government seizes
your car, your home, your money, and any other assets they "accuse" of being related to your / someone else's drug use
(note someone else can lose your stuff) without a trial. Because I like having my car, my truck and my house, I stay far far away from these things.
If the high is worth the risk to you, then that's a different story.
Really depends on where OP lives and local law. In my state, medical use is legal and depression/anxiety are qualifying conditions. In most cities in my area being in possession of less than 1 oz. is either not a criminal offense or a misdemenor ticket/fine. Cross county or state lines and it can be an whole nother ball game.