Re: Dating a girl with a Weed addiction.
my ex used to smoke like that.
they say you can't get addicted, fine. maybe you can't. but when you get to a place where you are high whenever possible, get high before all meals, get high and fall asleep, wake and bake. You being high becomes your dominant personality, and your real personality is suppressed.
The children and I also experienced Very angry moods when he would run out, or if we didn't have money for more.
We couldn't save any money, if there was any left after bills, he would buy extra. Sometimes he would buy extra instead of paying bills.
We didn't spend any time together on the weekends. Him smoking, me with the kids. It forced me to be the on call parent. basically, a single parent since i didn't want him looking after the children high and he was always high. He says he is high energy when he smokes at work, maybe, but when he was at home his defaults were snacking/tv/sleeping/wanting to have long philosophical conversations. He gained 75lbs, and never wanted to have sex. When he did, he wanted to be the bottom, and just lay there like a starfish. or receive a bj and then fall asleep.
He quit several months ago, and he's like a different person. lost a bunch of weight, can carry on an interesting conversation, not always sleeping, calls the kids and pays attention to them.
my sister just broke up with her longtime boyfriend (7 years) because of some of the same things. not working, smoking all the time, smoking up all their extra money, leaving her with all the responsibilities of the children.
my brother and his wife are divorced. They partied together, got married, and when she got pregnant(unintentionally), she straightened up and he didn't. Always high. He badgered her to lose the baby weight so she would leave him with their daughter and go to the gym. He would get high and fall asleep while he was supposed to be watching her. They didn't divorce over this solely, he's a sh!tty person. But it was a factor.
When we were just dating, before kids, we would smoke together sometimes. and it was fun, but for me it was something to do at parties or on holidays. not a way of life.
They say not to continue to date or have sex with anyone you wouldn't marry/have kids with, and it's true. We were just having fun together until a condom broke. Then all the sudden it's serious and you're parents. The smell made me nauseous while i was pregnant, and i tried it again after our first was born (she was with a babysitter). It was horrible. it made me panicked and paranoid.
Anyway. I might be biased by my personal experience. I couldn't stand the smell anymore and i didn't like being high. He still did, and so it divided us, and him from our children.
The other side of the coin: The ex has friends, a couple with children. They both smoke weed, always have, in their house, around their children, while she was pregnant, etc. They seem ok with their lives.
It all depends on how you see yourself long term. Do you enjoy her company when she is high and you are not and vice versa? Do you want to be smoking in 5 or 10 years at the same level? Will she? If you get married and/or have a baby will you want her to change, and/or will she want to change? Will your differing opinions be divisive?
Edited to add:
If you are really serious about not having children, then might i suggest being very careful with the birth control. like 2 kinds of bc careful. Of those couple i mentioned, myself, my brother, my adoptive sister, none of us intended to have children.
Forget enough to get over it, remember enough so it doesn't happen again.
Last edited by sixty-eight; 09-08-2016 at 05:07 PM.