Is she an alcoholic?
From what I've read, you either drink or you don't.
From what I know it's about WHY
you drink. What is the underlying
NEED for drinking?
If you drink, then it's occasionally for social reasons, or it's with regularity.
Either way, it's about some kind of hidden, underlying emotional needs!
If a person drinks regularly, it's either well controlled or it's in excess.
Either way, it's HARMFUL!
If it's in excess then it's either to the point of being a problem or it isn't. There's no definite line between "being an alcoholic" or not, as far as I understand it, it's just a meaningless label.
All Alcoholics say that. It's a form of Delusion and/or Denial! The "line" is simple - you either NEED to drink or you don't NEED to drink. Alcoholics NEED to drink - whether it's just a little or a lot!
Anyway, she seems to be a problem drinker and it's hard to sit by while someone you love and care about is in danger.
Do you know what her "problem" is? Why does she NEED to drink? She has a problem or problems and so she drinks - TOO MUCH - to comfort herself and avoid her inner daemons! All alcoholics drink for the very same reason - emotional comfort!
Anyone here experience this? What can be done especially given the distance? Forget about trying to engage the boyfriend he's useless. You'd think a law enforcement officer would have the tools to deal with it but he hasn't done a freaking thing and they've been together for years and he tells me she's been like this for as long as he's known her.
Many of us have had the experience of putting up with an alcoholic - parent, sibling, spouse, friend, etc. I have found that, unless the drinker/user goes seriously looking for HELP, nothing at all can be done with or for them - not even so-called Intervention. The Lawman probably drinks as well so he will not want to have her stop or even go for help. He is an Enabler!
She has to WANT HELP or the drinking will not stop until it KILLS HER!
I hope that you do not drink to soothe your troubled feelings!