My wife says she will leave me if I keep watching porn - Talk About Marriage
Relationships and Addiction Whether it's drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, pornography, or anything else, addictions can be detrimental to the health of a relationship.

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post #1 of 32 (permalink) Old 10-18-2016, 04:00 PM Thread Starter
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My wife says she will leave me if I keep watching porn

Why she thinks watching porn is bad? This has nothing to do with her. This is what I like to do and I do it privately.
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post #2 of 32 (permalink) Old 10-18-2016, 04:03 PM
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Re: My wife says she will leave me if I keep watching porn

Why are you asking us if we think it's bad?

We aren't the ones leaving you.
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post #3 of 32 (permalink) Old 10-18-2016, 04:07 PM
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Re: My wife says she will leave me if I keep watching porn

Interesting you choose the addiction subtopic to post this in if you think nothing is wrong with it.

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post #4 of 32 (permalink) Old 10-18-2016, 04:08 PM
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Re: My wife says she will leave me if I keep watching porn

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Originally Posted by BetrayedDad View Post
Interesting you choose the addiction subtopic to post this in if you think nothing is wrong with it.
Also he doesn't give much information at all, just 3 sentences, one of which is to point out that he "likes it" and does it "privately". This should be obvious. Isn't that what people usually do? I mean if you do it on the subway you're going to get arrested or at least kicked off the train.
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post #5 of 32 (permalink) Old 10-18-2016, 04:08 PM
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Re: My wife says she will leave me if I keep watching porn

Obviously your wife doesn't think the same way you do about it.

Either stop watching the porn or get a wife who doesn't mind it. Your choice.

People don't get a free pass to cheat just because their marriage sucks.

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post #6 of 32 (permalink) Old 10-18-2016, 04:09 PM
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Re: My wife says she will leave me if I keep watching porn

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Obviously your wife doesn't think the same way you do about it.

Either stop watching the porn or get a wife who doesn't mind it. Your choice.
There's a third option.

It allows him to watch the porn and keep the wife.
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post #7 of 32 (permalink) Old 10-18-2016, 04:30 PM
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Re: My wife says she will leave me if I keep watching porn

Is this a new hobby that you've picked up or is she just now figuring it out? And, I don't really want to ask, but how much are you talking about? I guess it doesn't matter how often. If she says none or she leaves, then those are your choices.
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post #8 of 32 (permalink) Old 10-18-2016, 04:44 PM
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Well....what kind of quantity are you talking about? I mean, i have a rita ora instagram feed that is pretty nice....

How many hours a day?
What kind of porn? Specifically...
Does she read chick porn?
Is your porn viewing detracting, in any way, from your relationship?
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post #9 of 32 (permalink) Old 10-18-2016, 06:01 PM
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Re: My wife says she will leave me if I keep watching porn

Make sure you only watch male on male porn and she won't have a problem (with the porn, at least).
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post #10 of 32 (permalink) Old 10-18-2016, 06:05 PM
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Re: My wife says she will leave me if I keep watching porn

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Originally Posted by MarriedDude View Post
Well....what kind of quantity are you talking about? I mean, i have a rita ora instagram feed that is pretty nice....

How many hours a day?
What kind of porn? Specifically...
Does she read chick porn?
Is your porn viewing detracting, in any way, from your relationship?
She's threatening to leave, so, I'd say it is definitely detracting from the relationship.
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post #11 of 32 (permalink) Old 10-18-2016, 06:08 PM
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Re: My wife says she will leave me if I keep watching porn

Maybe she wants to replace the porn. Let her, OP, let her.

Even if I don't get likes for it, I'm still going to say it.
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post #12 of 32 (permalink) Old 10-18-2016, 06:33 PM
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Re: My wife says she will leave me if I keep watching porn

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There's a third option.

It allows him to watch the porn and keep the wife.
Well, are you going to share?
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post #13 of 32 (permalink) Old 10-18-2016, 06:34 PM
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Re: My wife says she will leave me if I keep watching porn

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Well, are you going to share?
Let me check with my GF first.

Oh, you mean about the topic of the thread..

He hides it from her.
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post #14 of 32 (permalink) Old 10-18-2016, 06:34 PM
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Re: My wife says she will leave me if I keep watching porn

I think porn is OK if it doesn't interfere with a couples sex life. If you sometimes turn her down for sex and watch porn instead, or have watched recently, then there is a problem. If you are unhappy that she won't do things that are done in porn movies, then you have a problem. If porn has caused you to treat her with disrespect, then you have a problem. It time spend watching porn is keeping you from spending time with her, or doing chores / work, then you have a problem.

Otherwise, I don't see a problem with porn use.

That said, she does. She can leave you for any reason she wishes.

In general is your sex life with her good? Do you turn to porn due to a lack of sex from her?
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post #15 of 32 (permalink) Old 10-19-2016, 10:04 AM
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Re: My wife says she will leave me if I keep watching porn

Why doesn't she like porn? Does it interfere with your sex life? Do you neglect her for it?

Be 100% open and honest with her about it. It is OK to be discrete and delete your history etc, but it isn't OK to deny or lie about doing it. Tell her you do it, that you will probably always do it and the more sex you have the less likely you are to turn to it. Don't promise her you will stop.

You then both have choices - you both work on having lots more sex or she finds a new husband who is not interested in porn (good luck with that). If your porn use interferes with your sex life then you will always be alone or in an unhappy relationship. That is your choice.
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