App on his phone!!! Ready to Crush it! - Talk About Marriage
Relationships and Addiction Whether it's drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, pornography, or anything else, addictions can be detrimental to the health of a relationship.

User Tag List

 9Likes
  • 1 Post By no name
  • 2 Post By Relationship Teacher
  • 2 Post By Blondilocks
  • 1 Post By Mrs.diaz9614
  • 1 Post By tropicalbeachiwish
  • 2 Post By Alli3fire
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old 10-21-2016, 09:50 PM Thread Starter
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 4
App on his phone!!! Ready to Crush it!

Howdy!
Just celebrated our 2nd anniversary in September. Never been happier...until...walking war robots. I despise this game.
The hubs works really hard, is kind, generous and supportive...all epic things but since this game has started he literally comes home from works and starts playing...stops to eat dinner....then starts again. I'm laying in bed alone again right now while he blows up crap with his squad. Weekends it's about 10-12 hours straight gaming.
I'm not a yeller or *****er I have pitched a mini fit a couple of times over this but my job isn't to nag...if he would rather play on his phone then hang with me it shows me where I stand I suppose...hard pill to swallow but whatevs...right?
Posted via Mobile Device
Mrs.diaz9614 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old 10-21-2016, 10:24 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 6,304
Re: App on his phone!!! Ready to Crush it!

Do you have any kids?
225985 is offline  
post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old 10-22-2016, 06:23 AM Thread Starter
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 4
Re: App on his phone!!! Ready to Crush it!

I have a 24 year old son but he doesn't live here. So just 2 epic dogs right now.
The issue I have with the game isn't the lack of assistance around the home but more the fact that I feel alone even when he's here. Not a fan
Posted via Mobile Device
Mrs.diaz9614 is offline  
post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old 10-22-2016, 07:59 AM
Member
 
no name's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 169
Re: App on his phone!!! Ready to Crush it!

Hi, I understand how you feel. I had a similar issue with my hubby although console video gaming instead of an app. I put up with it for a year, didn't matter what I said to him it just didn't get thru to him. The only way I was able to get thru to him eventually was to write a long deep felt letter to him. Possible this Method could help him to understand how this behaviour makes you feel? He said when he read the letter, it suddenly clicked and he changed his habit straight away , he was really apologetic. I was desperate for him to stop , I just poured my heart out on paper because he wouldn't listen. Perhaps ... This could help you too.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
no name is offline  
post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old 10-22-2016, 08:06 AM
Banned
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 326
Re: App on his phone!!! Ready to Crush it!

2 years in and he's chosen gaming over you.

Ouch.
Manchester is offline  
post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old 10-22-2016, 08:24 AM
Member
 
Relationship Teacher's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 686
Re: App on his phone!!! Ready to Crush it!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs.diaz9614 View Post
Howdy!
Just celebrated our 2nd anniversary in September. Never been happier...until...walking war robots. I despise this game.
The hubs works really hard, is kind, generous and supportive...all epic things but since this game has started he literally comes home from works and starts playing...stops to eat dinner....then starts again. I'm laying in bed alone again right now while he blows up crap with his squad. Weekends it's about 10-12 hours straight gaming.
I'm not a yeller or *****er I have pitched a mini fit a couple of times over this but my job isn't to nag...if he would rather play on his phone then hang with me it shows me where I stand I suppose...hard pill to swallow but whatevs...right?
Posted via Mobile Device
Snap out of that mindset, Mrs. Diaz!

He has lost his way. If you press on him, he will stay lost. What we have to do is get him to wake up. I suggest the heart-to-heart. You maximize your impact on him by managing your emotions, offering unconditional love and supporting your values. Ask him to end his addiction to the game. Have him realize that 10-12 hours means he is placing a $2 app as priority, rather than a living and breathing human being. It is really important for "us" to spend time together.

Yes, I advise being nice, but that doesn't mean you get taken advantage of. Rather, it means that you offer your position as a loving wife, while telling him that you can't fulfill your role, because he is absent from the marriage for 1/2 of the day.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
-
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Relationship Teacher is offline  
post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old 10-22-2016, 02:13 PM
Member
 
Blondilocks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: SoCal
Posts: 3,699
Re: App on his phone!!! Ready to Crush it!

Stop cooking him dinner. Stop doing his laundry. Just stop being a wife. You didn't get married to be ignored.
Blondilocks is offline  
post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old 10-22-2016, 06:26 PM Thread Starter
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 4
Re: App on his phone!!! Ready to Crush it!

All of you make a lot of sense. I'm pretty miffed about it. Hoping it will pass...it's a shame really the addictive personality never quits I guess
Posted via Mobile Device
Mrs.diaz9614 is offline  
post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old 10-24-2016, 09:05 AM
Member
 
tropicalbeachiwish's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: La La Land
Posts: 1,890
Re: App on his phone!!! Ready to Crush it!

I know what you're going through. For many years, I called myself the Dinner Wife as that was really the only time that I got with my husband. I know what it's like to be lonely but never alone. My husband has also an addictive personality. His gaming usually went/goes hand-in-hand with the drinking. Does your husband also have any other addictions that have been brought to light since getting married?

You need to have a heart to heart with your husband. Try to establish some sort of compromise with him, so that you both can get some quality time together. Don't expect him to entertain you though. You should never hesitate to do things with your friends. It's important to have your own friends. Explore your own hobbies (just don't let your hobbies take over the relationship).

Speak up now though otherwise, your resentment will grow.

"Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow."
tropicalbeachiwish is offline  
post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old 10-24-2016, 07:01 PM Thread Starter
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 4
Re: App on his phone!!! Ready to Crush it!

My husband is a recovered addict. Nicest man you'd ever want to meet. I've upped my gym time...going on the weekends now too for over 2 hours a day.
I moved to where he is from to be with him so I don't have a network of friends here really...which I'm cool with.
It's weird I go through stages...oh it's cool to this is bull$hit. I'm thinking it's only going to get worse but I'll find other things to do to keep myself occupied. Maybe one day he will look up and be like "hey where's my wife?" Lol
Posted via Mobile Device
Mrs.diaz9614 is offline  
post #11 of 11 (permalink) Old 10-24-2016, 07:57 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: San Fran
Posts: 29
Re: App on his phone!!! Ready to Crush it!

I would just try to do things not at home. I know you just moved here and don't have a social circle but GET ONE. Join hobby clubs, meet people at the gym and gtfo of the house. When he asks where you're going, just say nicely, oh you're always on that game and it's kind of boring for me so I've made some plans...see you bye!
Alli3fire is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Company phone larry.gray The Social Spot 21 08-13-2016 06:11 PM
Wife is Married/Addicted to her Phone ptomczyk11 General Relationship Discussion 42 01-07-2016 01:30 AM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome