What is your worst experience with alcohol/drugs? - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
Relationships and Addiction Whether it's drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, pornography, or anything else, addictions can be detrimental to the health of a relationship.

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post #16 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 08:34 PM
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Re: What is your worst experience with alcohol/drugs?

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post #17 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 09:57 PM
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Re: What is your worst experience with alcohol/drugs?

Boy this is a cheerful thread.
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post #18 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-28-2016, 10:38 PM
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Re: What is your worst experience with alcohol/drugs?

I was married to an alcoholic for 24 years. My stories would be numerous. He never got it. He could never acknowledge that part of the problems we were having were due to his addiction to alcohol.

We lived in Europe (military) for 16 years and we did some really awesome travel. I recall being up on one the highest mountains peaks for you can access in Switzerland and ex asks me if I would like a drink. My brain is thinking how wonderful it is to be where we are and he wants to drink. It didn't matter what the situation was, it was about about the booze, and hand-in-hand walked his addiction to other women.

Addiction takes priority in one's life. A spouse will never be able to compete with that addiiction.
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post #19 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-28-2016, 11:03 PM
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Re: What is your worst experience with alcohol/drugs?

Worst alcohol experience...

While on vacation in Mexico, my dad, stepmom and sister screamed at me that I'm not a part of my own family if I'm not going to get hammered (I was nursing a beer) and that I needed to leave.... or... Being 3 and watching my drunk dad beat the piss out of my mom. It's the earliest memory I have.... or... Having my alcoholic stepmom take a knife to me because she had misplaced her alcohol and needed a drink... or... Having my alcoholic stepmom attempt to kill me in a drunken rage on my dad's boat... or.... watching my dad push me out of my family, lie about me, and then drink himself into an early grave and knowing there is nothing I could do to stop him.

There's so many to choose from. I can't pick one. You decide.

Worst drugs experience...

The daily occurrence of leaving my little cousins at home while I went to school, not knowing if their addict mother and grandmother would burn the house down... or... well, I don't think I really want to share the rest of those.

Do you hear the people sing / Lost in the valley of the night?
It is the music of a people / Who are climbing to the light.
For the wretched of the earth / There is a flame that never dies.
Even the darkest night will end / And the sun will rise...
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post #20 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-28-2016, 11:08 PM
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Re: What is your worst experience with alcohol/drugs?

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Worst alcohol experience...

While on vacation in Mexico, my dad, stepmom and sister screamed at me that I'm not a part of my own family if I'm not going to get hammered (I was nursing a beer) and that I needed to leave.... or... Being 3 and watching my drunk dad beat the piss out of my mom. It's the earliest memory I have.... or... Having my alcoholic stepmom take a knife to me because she had misplaced her alcohol and needed a drink... or... Having my alcoholic stepmom attempt to kill me in a drunken rage on my dad's boat... or.... watching my dad push me out of my family, lie about me, and then drink himself into an early grave and knowing there is nothing I could do to stop him.

There's so many to choose from. I can't pick one. You decide.

Worst drugs experience...

The daily occurrence of leaving my little cousins at home while I went to school, not knowing if their addict mother and grandmother would burn the house down... or... well, I don't think I really want to share the rest of those.
Damn Kivlor, I have no words. I would need serious therapy after this.
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post #21 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-28-2016, 11:44 PM
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Re: What is your worst experience with alcohol/drugs?

Somehow it was never the specific horrible moments that bothered me. It was the dread to go home without knowing what would be on the other side of the door. Just yelling? Fighting? Violence? Creepy fawning? Somebody passed out in vomit? Nobody there at all? I can still feel the horrible pit in my stomach with worry and fear.

Never let the sadness of your past and the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present.
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post #22 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-29-2016, 10:24 PM
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Re: What is your worst experience with alcohol/drugs?

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Damn Kivlor, I have no words. I would need serious therapy after this.
You know, I did go to therapy while in college. I haven't seen an IC in over a decade, and I've been mulling over going to one again recently. There's a lot of things I know I've never sorted out, things that have started to consciously bother me. Of course the search for a good counselor can be an arduous task at best. (My IC from a decade ago isn't around anymore).

I had an Adverse Childhood Experience Score of 9, so I'm probably screwed regardless. Not sure that additional therapy would help. What does help is work. I feel better when I numb myself with tasks and achievement. But I know that's just me avoiding my problems.

Do you hear the people sing / Lost in the valley of the night?
It is the music of a people / Who are climbing to the light.
For the wretched of the earth / There is a flame that never dies.
Even the darkest night will end / And the sun will rise...
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post #23 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-29-2016, 10:38 PM
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Re: What is your worst experience with alcohol/drugs?

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I come from a big irish catholic family. we grew up surrounded by alcohol and drugs, from a very young age. I'm positive that she won't be the only one to die young. There have been a few other close calls already.

And no one is learning from it either. My other cousins were tailgating at her memorial service. When i noticed it and pointed it out, my little brother said, "she would have wanted it that way". He almost died 2 years ago, got a DUI and wrapped his truck around a telephone pole. Went to rehab. Didn't slow him down at all.
Oh wow. That is awful. I am so sorry.
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post #24 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-29-2016, 11:38 PM
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Cool Re: What is your worst experience with alcohol/drugs?

My best friend who I met years ago when I started officiating football! He was the namesake for my sons, and he loved them like they were his very own!

He had the world by the tail! He had a great job with the State of Texas, was a major college football official on a nationally famous crew and was seriously being looked at by the NFL!

Sad to say that booze was the culprit that did him in! When he was around us, he was as sober as a judge ~ you'd never know he ever took a drink; when he was alone and isolated unto himself, he drank like a proverbial fish!

His younger brother found him in bed dead from an alcohol induced heart attack! Let's just say that learning of his untimely demise at age 51 was one of the worst phone calls that I've ever received!

And I'm going to kick his a$$ when I see him in heaven!

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"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

My Story! http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...andonment.html
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post #25 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-30-2016, 12:05 AM
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Re: What is your worst experience with alcohol/drugs?

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Originally Posted by Kivlor View Post
You know, I did go to therapy while in college. I haven't seen an IC in over a decade, and I've been mulling over going to one again recently. There's a lot of things I know I've never sorted out, things that have started to consciously bother me. Of course the search for a good counselor can be an arduous task at best. (My IC from a decade ago isn't around anymore).

I had an Adverse Childhood Experience Score of 9, so I'm probably screwed regardless. Not sure that additional therapy would help. What does help is work. I feel better when I numb myself with tasks and achievement. But I know that's just me avoiding my problems.
I had never heard of the ACE quiz.
After I took it, I also went here Got your ACE score? And there is another quiz for your resiliency score, to explain why people in the same families with the same ACE scores have different outcomes/outlooks.
Anyway, i just wanted to say that i found your link very informative : ) Thank you!

Forget enough to get over it, remember enough so it doesn't happen again.
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post #26 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-30-2016, 09:00 PM
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Re: What is your worst experience with alcohol/drugs?

This thread is so very sad. Call me morose but I’m glad that it didn’t just showcase the “Haha!! Dude! I got so sh!tfaced I woke up with my head in the toilet bowl, started panicking and screaming because some assh0le was pushing on my neck and not letting me get up!!!" (It was the toilet seat and yes, the drunk dumb ass in the toilet was me. Good times. )

But more importantly this thread shows the damage drugs/alcohol wreak in the lives of those who were innocent bystanders/victims of the ravages of substance abuse.

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There's a lot of things I know I've never sorted out, things that have started to consciously bother me.

I had an Adverse Childhood Experience Score of 9, so I'm probably screwed regardless.
I too have a 9/10 on the ACE and know everything I experience, think, and feel is filtered through a lens that was distorted and smudged long ago. I try not to think of my childhood too often or for too long. I wrote about it once before here (Things your parents did that you hated, but...) and don’t wish to again; I was haunted by the memories for weeks afterwards until I was able to bury them once more.

My father’s alcoholism and violence and my older brother’s early accelerated descent into alcoholism/drug addiction and his abuse of me forever altered the me I would have/could have been. I’m many years removed from it and still subject to its effects.

Thinking about it, truthfully I have no good experiences with alcohol. My first relationship at 17 was with a tortured alcoholic who was 8 years older than me and it ended in suicide 4 years later. I began drinking heavily after that and spent many an inebriated night willing myself to follow. Thankfully in weakness I was strong.

Anyway. I have mental and physical scars from all of this; they never heal. Therapy didn't help; the only thing that ever did was my relentless will to survive and dogged defiance.

I no longer drink going on 10+ years; I struggle at times, but I resist. Alcohol/drugs have destroyed those I've loved and crippled me in ways from which I will never recover, but I will never give up. I'm still here.

And even if that's my only victory, it's one I celebrate daily. It's my wish that those who posted here do the same.

Last edited by Curse of Millhaven; 11-04-2016 at 10:09 PM. Reason: Stupidity. Affect vs effect. :(
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post #27 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-30-2016, 09:25 PM
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Re: What is your worst experience with alcohol/drugs?

Riunite. And getting drunk with it in college. I thought I was going to NOT die from the resulting hangover...

This is what happens when you're used to good wines as a kid and try some monumentally not so good.

The experience has made me a wine snob of sorts, rejecting most wines for my rather short list of preferences. Thankfully, Jungle Jim's is a bearable drive away.
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post #28 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-30-2016, 09:33 PM
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Re: What is your worst experience with alcohol/drugs?

At 17 now 49. My parents did not like the girl I was with (we married) and my farther said some nasty things. This the was the 1st and only time I saw red; everything was red and I could see my rage rippling though my vision like I submerged in red liquid.

Dad left and mom was so scared because she had never seen me like that she tried to calm me down by giving me 150mg of thorazine. It could have killed me, to say I went nuts would be a gross understatement. 3 days of hell, I remember my brother teeing me up to try to restrain me.

Why would anyone do this to themselves on purpose! As a result I have not even tried pot; I want no part in any of it.

I’ll stick to scotch and cigars in moderation thank you.

I’m back; writing this and diving into those memories have brought back a whole body sensation that takes me back there. Wow the mind can be a really f’ed up thing.

My dad had red strip wall paper in the halls upstairs & the stripes were attacking me. My brother was holding me down as I was pulling the dry wall off trying to stop the stripes. he was trying to tie me up with belts. I need to stop going down this mental road.

Last edited by Max.HeadRoom; 10-30-2016 at 09:55 PM.
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post #29 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-07-2016, 07:00 PM
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Re: What is your worst experience with alcohol/drugs?

Watching my mothers life go to hell.. being married to a severe alcoholic (not my father)... step fathers addiction was so bad, he'd have painful withdrawals...I've seen the worst of the worst.. once a friend he took in beat him up bloody over booze... these are extremes.
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post #30 of 30 (permalink) Old 12-13-2016, 06:00 PM
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Re: What is your worst experience with alcohol/drugs?

Surviving an abusive, terrifying alcoholic dad!

choose happiness
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