Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
Relationships and Addiction Whether it's drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, pornography, or anything else, addictions can be detrimental to the health of a relationship.

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post #16 of 72 (permalink) Old 11-04-2016, 04:05 PM
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

I had a 6 pack on Wednesday when i found out my dad was dying. Going out to have 6 more.
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post #17 of 72 (permalink) Old 11-04-2016, 04:07 PM
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

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Originally Posted by peacem View Post
According to Drinkaware website (I track my drinking) I am a binge drinker. But the reason why I don't think I am an alcoholic is because I have a cut off of usually around a bottle of wine. I can pour half a glass of wine down the sink because I don't want to have a hangover or because I am starting to feel drunk. My problem is that I can drink a bottle of wine every night and it not touch the sides, sometimes not even drunk, just sleepy. I will gulp it rather than savor it. I have never passed out. I don't even think about drinking until 9pm when I start to worry about sleeping, or start to worry about worry .

Your drinking is like my brother. I went to his birthday party last year and he was so drunk by the time we arrived (7.30) he could barely remember our names. By closing time he could hardly walk and we had to practically carry him home. His wife said he does this every weekend. It was very scary to watch. I don't want to get like that.

My niece came to our house last sunday because her dad was 'sleeping off his hangover'. I thought what a waste.
You cannot use your body's reaction to gauge your dependence. When I was at my worst, at around 23 y.o., I got down to the point where I never knew how much it would take to get me drunk. One day I could drink two fifth bottles of J.D. and not have a tremble. But then the next day I could drink one shot and be blitzed out of my mind. My body chemistry was so messed up that normal metabolic processes just didn't exist.

If you drink in a sustained fashion for over several weeks, you can slowly build up a B.A.C. of 0.4% or more, which is considered poisoning range to most people who have not conditioned themselves. I was taken to the hospital once after I passed out and they could not wake me up. They did a blood test and I had a B.A.C of 0.412%. I was able to get this high by sustained heavy drinking over a period of about two weeks. I did the whole detox, hallucinating , D.T.s and everything for four days. What a joy.

I have read of people admitted to the hospital with B.A.C.s of 0.435% and higher! I believe that is what they call "pickled". That requires months of daily inebriation and slowly building up a chemical tolerance of sorts, but it only lasts as long as your liver holds out. These people usually blow their liver out in a matter of months. We have one poster here...Prodigal...who's ex-husband did just that, and she had the heartbreaking task of burying him.

But binging to the point where you get to 0.45% is sure death. You get there and your brain basically dissolves.
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post #18 of 72 (permalink) Old 11-05-2016, 08:22 AM
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

I applaud those of you who are cutting back on alcohol or completely cutting out alcohol. Alcohol is what brought me to TAM. My husband is an alcoholic in denial. He wants to be able to drink socially but usually is unable to stop once he starts. He has too cut back once I asked for a separation last year. Now he drinks 50% of the days and he expects me to be appreciative of that. He has been gradually getting back to his old ways and I do believe that it's a matter of time before we split. I'm not there yet though because I hang on to hope. I hate who my husband is when he's drinking. I, myself, don't drink very much and have no desire to after watching what my husband is doing for so many years.

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post #19 of 72 (permalink) Old 11-05-2016, 12:34 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

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I had a 6 pack on Wednesday when i found out my dad was dying. Going out to have 6 more.
Sorry to hear that blue
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post #20 of 72 (permalink) Old 11-07-2016, 01:29 PM
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

Here at TAM also because of my husband's drinking and our lousy marriage. He denies it...says he doesn't have a problem...he drinks because he likes the way it makes him feel. He says I'm the one with the problem. I, too, hold out for Hope, but it's not coming.

He'll be 56 this weekend. He has drank like this for as long as I have been married to him (21 yrs this past May). His poison of choice is Vodka (w/ very little water). He's an every day drinker...at least two (but he's a heavy hand, and his two are like 6 or more at a restaurant/bar). He can go .... maybe .... two days without and then he's back at nipping the bottle again, even if its some wine....he needs something in his system. He had a heart attack last year and he is now on heart meds that only exacerbate the "drunkeness". I have seen what the prolonged drinking has done to him, his health, his sex life, his mind, his attitude. It's not pretty, and it's not comical. I'm tired of taking care of his a$$ because of it. He thinks I am just blowing it out of proportion, but he's not on the receiving end of it.

@peacem, it's great that you have recognized that you have a problem and that you want to deal with it, and keeping a journal of your progress is a great way to track your every day thoughts, emotions, physical and mental appearance. Alcohol does affect sleep patterns, and it gets worse as you get older. Your liver has to work harder to process the toxins, and when you wake up in the middle of the night in a sweat that's your body working overtime to get rid of the poison. It affects your central nervous system, brain, cognitive thinking and motor skills. It affects your heart, liver, kidneys and pancreas. Google alcoholism and it's effects and you will find all you need to know.

Talk with your husband regularly about this. Talk to a counselor. Go to AA or Al-Anon. Find a support group. Go exercise. Keep up the excellent work!!!! Wishing you the best!!!!
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post #21 of 72 (permalink) Old 11-07-2016, 02:03 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

I'm glad people who are married to heavy drinkers and alcoholics are speaking up with their side of the story. My SIL hardly drinks at all and I often feel sorry for her for what she puts up with regarding my brothers drinking. The day off work wasted because of recovering hangovers, never having any money, being home alone because he won't leave the pub and she got fed up of watching him get plastered....and then there was the time he turned up drunk in the car to pick her up from work. I think she is a saint.

I had 2 small glasses of wine on Saturday night which I savored - no drinking Friday or Sunday.

I actually found drinking small amounts rather frustrating and it made me think it would be better to not bother at all. I have developed a taste for Chai latte so I'm going to calculate how much money I save on booze and buy a coffee machine.

Savings so far 25.
No weight loss but I have been eating a lot of chocolate.

Friday night I could NOT sleep (no alcohol in me for 4 days). Its a horrible feeling of being dog tired but not being able to switch off. In my frustration I did a search on Youtube and found some meditation type audio vids and thought I would give them a go. It worked! So I have been doing that since - hopefully it will solve the sleeping issue around drinking.

I have also revisited Eckhart Tolle videos and have had them on in the background whilst doing chores and around the house. I have forgotten how good he is at calming my moments of anxiety. There is something about that man that just makes me think very little is worth worrying about. I don't even need to do the meditation .

H is on board and stopped bringing wine home in an evening.
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post #22 of 72 (permalink) Old 11-07-2016, 02:29 PM
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

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Originally Posted by peacem View Post
I actually found drinking small amounts rather frustrating and it made me think it would be better to not bother at all. I have developed a taste for Chai latte so I'm going to calculate how much money I save on booze and buy a coffee machine.

Savings so far 25.
No weight loss but I have been eating a lot of chocolate.

Friday night I could NOT sleep (no alcohol in me for 4 days). Its a horrible feeling of being dog tired but not being able to switch off. In my frustration I did a search on Youtube and found some meditation type audio vids and thought I would give them a go. It worked! So I have been doing that since - hopefully it will solve the sleeping issue around drinking.
While alcohol is never something I have had to struggle with personally or in any of my relatives, coffee is a different thing completely. My wife and I drink way too much caffeine, and it can be surprising of how it effects you.

If I stop drinking caffeine and have to stop for a few days, I know I am going to be in for a world of hurt while my body adjusts. Usually a headache and feeling extremely lethargic for a day or two. Then everything turns back to normal. Afterwards without paying any attention, I'll start back drinking caffeine to give myself a boost or just because something was served to me (tea or soda). I'll drink caffeinated beverages liberally and then BOOM, there is no freaking way I can sleep for about 48 hours no matter how tired I am. My wife even laughs at me for how many times I have done this. On average I get myself into the mess about once or twice a month.

So when it comes to using caffeine, be very aware that doing that can interfere with your sleep.

If you have a jacuzzi, drink a sports drink to increase you electrolytes, and then soak in an epson salt bath. This will help pull a lot of what is in your body out through your skin, relax you, relieve any hypertension created by the caffeine, and help you get a good nights sleep. If you find loosing weight motivating, you'll be surprised to find that a salt bath will remove a few pounds (dehydration) from you once you step out. That is why it is important to drink a sports drink before you get into one of these baths.

Why and How to Take a Detox Bath

I've gotten to where I enjoy salt baths about once a week or more these days, and it does help me sleep!

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post #23 of 72 (permalink) Old 11-07-2016, 03:10 PM
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

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Originally Posted by peacem View Post

Friday night I could NOT sleep (no alcohol in me for 4 days). Its a horrible feeling of being dog tired but not being able to switch off. In my frustration I did a search on Youtube and found some meditation type audio vids and thought I would give them a go. It worked! So I have been doing that since - hopefully it will solve the sleeping issue around drinking.
BENADRYL. Take 2 Benadryls a couple hours before going to bed. Benadryl is not addictive, it will keep your sinuses open at night, and the diphenhydramine will help you reach a deep REM sleep. It can leave you groggy if you take it too late before bed, so take it mid evening around 8:00 p.m. and by 6:00 am, the next morning it will usually be metabolized and out of your system before you go to work. It works like a charm for me.

Exercise a couple hours before bed. Do some cardio. Push-ups, sit-ups, stretching... all these will release the dopamine in your brain and help calm you down.
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post #24 of 72 (permalink) Old 11-08-2016, 08:48 AM
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

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Here at TAM also because of my husband's drinking and our lousy marriage. He denies it...says he doesn't have a problem...he drinks because he likes the way it makes him feel. He says I'm the one with the problem. I, too, hold out for Hope, but it's not coming.

He'll be 56 this weekend. He has drank like this for as long as I have been married to him (21 yrs this past May). His poison of choice is Vodka (w/ very little water). He's an every day drinker...at least two (but he's a heavy hand, and his two are like 6 or more at a restaurant/bar). He can go .... maybe .... two days without and then he's back at nipping the bottle again, even if its some wine....he needs something in his system. He had a heart attack last year and he is now on heart meds that only exacerbate the "drunkeness". I have seen what the prolonged drinking has done to him, his health, his sex life, his mind, his attitude. It's not pretty, and it's not comical. I'm tired of taking care of his a$$ because of it. He thinks I am just blowing it out of proportion, but he's not on the receiving end of it.

@peacem, it's great that you have recognized that you have a problem and that you want to deal with it, and keeping a journal of your progress is a great way to track your every day thoughts, emotions, physical and mental appearance. Alcohol does affect sleep patterns, and it gets worse as you get older. Your liver has to work harder to process the toxins, and when you wake up in the middle of the night in a sweat that's your body working overtime to get rid of the poison. It affects your central nervous system, brain, cognitive thinking and motor skills. It affects your heart, liver, kidneys and pancreas. Google alcoholism and it's effects and you will find all you need to know.

Talk with your husband regularly about this. Talk to a counselor. Go to AA or Al-Anon. Find a support group. Go exercise. Keep up the excellent work!!!! Wishing you the best!!!!
What is it about vodka?! That's what my husband drinks. He buys huge bottles of it and mixes it with root beer (more like a splash of root beer).

"Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow."
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post #25 of 72 (permalink) Old 11-08-2016, 08:56 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

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What is it about vodka?! That's what my husband drinks. He buys huge bottles of it and mixes it with root beer (more like a splash of root beer).
Vodka drinkers worry me because I think the sole reason for drinking it is that it gets you very drunk very quickly and it doesn't smell on your breath, it can be disguised in juice - ideal for lunchtime drinkies.

As well as having few calories, it is deceptively potent and relatively cheap. Scary drink and even more scary to think they put it in drinks that is to appeal to young people.
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post #26 of 72 (permalink) Old 11-08-2016, 09:03 AM
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

This is the path my stbx is going down. She was always a drinker before, but the last year...out of control. Vodka for all those reasons and it's low in carbs. Gotta look good as you make your body and mind waste away.

I have been blessed with a stomach that has a hard time managing a lot of alcohol. If I drink too much, I wretch and vomit and blow capillaries in my eyes and the acid burns my throat and I bleed and it's not a pretty sight. Mind you, it has to be too much, not like a normal getting semi-drunk night. But it definitely keeps me from drinking often (which was an issue with my wife ironically) and over-indulging.
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post #27 of 72 (permalink) Old 11-08-2016, 09:09 AM
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

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Vodka drinkers worry me because I think the sole reason for drinking it is that it gets you very drunk very quickly and it doesn't smell on your breath, it can be disguised in juice - ideal for lunchtime drinkies.

As well as having few calories, it is deceptively potent and relatively cheap. Scary drink and even more scary to think they put it in drinks that is to appeal to young people.
This is exactly why I moved to vodka, and another indicator that I had to stop.

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"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for." - Bob Marley
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post #28 of 72 (permalink) Old 11-08-2016, 10:22 AM
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

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Vodka drinkers worry me because I think the sole reason for drinking it is that it gets you very drunk very quickly and it doesn't smell on your breath, it can be disguised in juice - ideal for lunchtime drinkies.



As well as having few calories, it is deceptively potent and relatively cheap. Scary drink and even more scary to think they put it in drinks that is to appeal to young people.


I bought alcohol saliva test strips. They also work to clearly detect vodka in any drink.
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post #29 of 72 (permalink) Old 11-16-2016, 07:51 AM
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

@peacem

How's the cut down going for you?

"Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow."
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post #30 of 72 (permalink) Old 11-16-2016, 08:14 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

@tropicalbeachiwish Thank you for asking. Doing well! Just Saturday night 2 very weak G&Ts. I think the tonic water tricks my mind into feeling satisfied.

Sleeping better, anxiety down, no weight loss unfortunately but I have been snacking on chocolate as a treat in the evening. I seem to be able to give up the wine but those peanut m&m's have got me good .
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