Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
Relationships and Addiction Whether it's drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, pornography, or anything else, addictions can be detrimental to the health of a relationship.

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post #31 of 72 (permalink) Old 11-16-2016, 08:41 AM
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

This is a good thread. It is very encouraging to see the success posters have had after a long hard struggle.

Blue- I am so sorry to hear about your dad. Stay strong and fall to your knees when you need to. I just finished going through the death of both my parents within a year- my heart goes out to you.

I dont know what I am. I have drank a glass of wine everyday for almost 20 years. Depending on life circumstances this glass can become quite large or can become 2. I never drink more than a half a bottle of wine as that is my cut off point for a hangover. While H and I were going through the worst of our times I added a shot of Grandmarnier occasionally to the mix. (this would be my vodka i guess)

I can and do pour out a half glass or full glass if someone has poured it for me and I dont want it- not because i'm drunk or the threat of a hangover just because i dont want it. I have called an alcohol support place and they felt I was alcohol dependent but not an alcoholic. It has never caused me to miss work or created any problems socially, I dont feel a need to keep drinking once i start. I do feel the need to "start" each day though. Just one and done can often be enough- but always just one.

My parents didnt drink much at all but my uncle was a severe alcoholic. He drank himself out of a successful law practice and eventually died an alcohol related death. My dad told me before he died that his brother started drinking when he joined the army at a very young age-and just never stopped.
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post #32 of 72 (permalink) Old 11-16-2016, 09:05 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

@nursejackie - you sound like me. I know my cut off, hate being drunk, hate hangovers. I rarely drink before 9pm. I do have a stop button which is kind of reassuring but at the same time I think it has lulled me into thinking my daily drinking is in control.

What bothers me is that those daily glasses added up to around 30 units - ish a week. In the UK the recommended amount for both men and women is 15 with a couple of days dry for liver to rest. I also have high cholesterol and the nurse said it could be down to the booze.

One other niggle is that when there is no alcohol in the house I started to feel a bit tetchy. So even though I only needed a glass or two, its the fact that I needed it and craved it. I don't think I am an alcoholic but I think I do have an unhealthy relationship with the bottle. It calms my nerves and gets me to sleep. So I'm trying to find better ways of dealing with that - habit more than addiction.
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post #33 of 72 (permalink) Old 11-16-2016, 03:49 PM
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

Dad died. Today was funeral. On #6 right now.
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post #34 of 72 (permalink) Old 11-16-2016, 04:10 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

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Dad died. Today was funeral. On #6 right now.
I'm sorry blue....

I don't usually do online hugs but I'm making an exception for you {{hug}}
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post #35 of 72 (permalink) Old 11-16-2016, 04:22 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

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Dad died. Today was funeral. On #6 right now.
Its ok to get hammered. This is the time to have a stiff drink.

(but come back later when you are ready)

Last edited by peacem; 11-16-2016 at 04:32 PM.
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post #36 of 72 (permalink) Old 11-17-2016, 06:42 AM
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

Blue- so sorry- go easy on yourself - life can be pretty freaking tough to handle sometimes
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post #37 of 72 (permalink) Old 11-17-2016, 06:54 AM
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

@peacem, sorry if it's been suggested, but have you tried melatonin 30 mins before bed?

I get gummy melatonin, so it's like having a treat before bed.
@blueinbr, I'm very sorry. Please don't drink a lot alone. I did it once after a really terrible ordeal and luckily my sister found me. Without her, I would not be here. Take care.

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post #38 of 72 (permalink) Old 11-17-2016, 07:08 AM
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Cool Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

@peacem ~ you are an an absolute sweetheart and a very brave lady for this very erstwhile undertaking that you have subjected yourself to!

You can, and with absolutely no doubt whatsoever, do it ~ more especially with God's loving presence and having all of your loving TAM friends standing there firmly behind you in this most noteworthy endeavor!

You and your family will be the ultimate winners in all of this!

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post #39 of 72 (permalink) Old 11-17-2016, 07:17 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

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@peacem, sorry if it's been suggested, but have you tried melatonin 30 mins before bed?

I get gummy melatonin, so it's like having a treat before bed.
@blueinbr, I'm very sorry. Please don't drink a lot alone. I did it once after a really terrible ordeal and luckily my sister found me. Without her, I would not be here. Take care.
I'm trying to avoid that route but not totally against the idea. I am also getting to the stage where I think I should be taking medication for my anxiety. I have read that you cannot drink on anti-anxiety meds which may be what I need.

My BIL took melatonin and it made him dopey in the morning. I am currently studying for my masters degree and trying to keep my mind sharp. I know alcohol does give me brain fog at times though. What I have noticed since cutting right down is that my study skills are improving and I have been more motivated to plough through the boring stuff .

@arbitrator - thank you so much my friend.
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post #40 of 72 (permalink) Old 11-18-2016, 07:15 AM
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

About AA and Alanon, I was the "responsible" adult child of an obviously alcoholic step-father and not so obviously alcoholic mother. If you consider AA or Alanon, remember that their 12 Steps and traditions were written in the 1950's, a very different social and religious time . Feel VERY FREE to interpret the "12 STEPS" in your own way. For me, I find support and "Higher Power" in groups of other folks- online , like all of you here at TAM and at Alanon meetings. More on this later.
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post #41 of 72 (permalink) Old 11-18-2016, 01:25 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

@Randy2 Yes I am definitely interested in your experiences with those groups. Were you aware your parents were alcoholics as a child?

My niece recently asked me if she will be an alcoholic because her parents are and it broke my heart. She is now 15 but has been opening up to me about things she had to do for her mother from a very young age. Basically she had to be a mother to her younger sister. She also told me that it wasn't unusual from a very young (she said 7) for her to find her mother in the street or supermarket, get her home, undressed and to bed. She talks about leaving her very young sister home alone whilst she searched the street for her mum. Now she is older feels very guilty about this and doesn't fully understand why her mother (or sister) is not her responsibility. Made me cry.
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post #42 of 72 (permalink) Old 11-18-2016, 01:34 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

@blueinbr - just checking up on you. How you doing?
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post #43 of 72 (permalink) Old 11-18-2016, 01:34 PM
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

This is crushing... Absolutely crushing...

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@Randy2 Yes I am definitely interested in your experiences with those groups. Were you aware your parents were alcoholics as a child?

My niece recently asked me if she will be an alcoholic because her parents are and it broke my heart. She is now 15 but has been opening up to me about things she had to do for her mother from a very young age. Basically she had to be a mother to her younger sister. She also told me that it wasn't unusual from a very young (she said 7) for her to find her mother in the street or supermarket, get her home, undressed and to bed. She talks about leaving her very young sister home alone whilst she searched the street for her mum. Now she is older feels very guilty about this and doesn't fully understand why her mother (or sister) is not her responsibility. Made me cry.

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post #44 of 72 (permalink) Old 11-18-2016, 01:59 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

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This is crushing... Absolutely crushing...
Her story is actually much worse than this but not sure I'll share it as it may be triggering for some. Her mother is not a nice person sober and but alcohol makes her into the devil itself. Her father is an apathetic drunk. A good father sober, terrible when drinking (which unfortunately is most days atm).

Not wanting to sound holier than others but the worse I get is a bit silly or very sleepy.
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post #45 of 72 (permalink) Old 11-18-2016, 02:23 PM
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

i go through phases. i drink for a week or two, every night or other night. then ill go months without. vodka is my liquor of choice since most other liquors give me heartburn. as for beer, i rarely drink the same kind twice in a row. i like to see whats out there. i just cant drink too much of it because of the carbonation. i don't even drink soda much because it hurts to burp.

oddly enough, i drink the most when i decide to exercise all day. for instance, i once killed an entire handle of vodka in twelve hours. i spent the whole day drinking and running trails. i only weigh 128...

i have actually had my BAC tested as i drank once. my body processes alcohol faster than normal.

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