Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread - Page 5 - Talk About Marriage
Relationships and Addiction Whether it's drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, pornography, or anything else, addictions can be detrimental to the health of a relationship.

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post #61 of 72 (permalink) Old 11-22-2016, 08:56 AM
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

So far i am at 3 days no drink.

Sam's Club had a REALLY good price on a 12 pack of my beer. But I put it back. I bought something for the dog instead.
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post #62 of 72 (permalink) Old 11-22-2016, 09:01 AM
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

Good job, Blue.

"Our ability to feel joy is directly related to how much pain we are willing to feel." - Mavash.

"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for." - Bob Marley
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post #63 of 72 (permalink) Old 11-22-2016, 12:16 PM
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

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Originally Posted by peacem View Post
@tropicalbeachiwish Thank you for asking. Doing well! Just Saturday night 2 very weak G&Ts. I think the tonic water tricks my mind into feeling satisfied.

Sleeping better, anxiety down, no weight loss unfortunately but I have been snacking on chocolate as a treat in the evening. I seem to be able to give up the wine but those peanut m&m's have got me good .
Go easy on gin and tonics. Too much tonic each day can give you quinine poisoning if your liver is weak.
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post #64 of 72 (permalink) Old 11-22-2016, 03:15 PM
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

Great thread, I see a lot of myself and my family in the responses. My grandmother was a daily black out on vodka drunk and both my parents drink heavily each night. My mother around a bottle and a half of wine and my father around 4 scotches. I was a heavy drinker for years and years but recently stopped cold turkey to save my relationship with my kids and wife. I have definitely felt the urge to drink some martinis lately, sober for 30 days and then drunk one night. It will be hard to turn down alcohol this Thanksgiving, my parents usually open up some $150 bottles of red so that is always very tempting! Just taking it one day at a time. I can drink a few beers and stop but I am really trying to go completely sober so no beers at all.
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post #65 of 72 (permalink) Old 11-22-2016, 03:34 PM
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

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Originally Posted by blueinbr View Post
So far i am at 3 days no drink.

Sam's Club had a REALLY good price on a 12 pack of my beer. But I put it back. I bought something for the dog instead.
What does your dog drink?

Just kidding. Keep up the good work.
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post #66 of 72 (permalink) Old 12-01-2016, 07:42 PM
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

Ugh. Had 5 beers yesterday. It was my birthday so friends kept buying them for me. I finally had to say no more. Had to drive home.

Doing better tonight. Only one beer.
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post #67 of 72 (permalink) Old 12-01-2016, 08:09 PM
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

Happy Birthday @blueinbr.
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post #68 of 72 (permalink) Old 12-13-2016, 04:49 PM
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

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Originally Posted by peacem View Post
I have been screened for alcoholism and she said I was a heavy drinker not an alcoholic but I am definitely in the danger zone.
LOL, "heavy drinker" or alcoholic - what's the difference? I bet she "drinks" so she had to stay with Denial on that one. Did she even mention WHY folks drink - heavy or light?

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I tend to be an emotional drinker, not a social drinker (hardly ever drink in public or with other people).
All drinkers are "emotional drinkers" due to unsatisfactory emotions/feelings that drinking is supposed to soothe or manage.

Quote:
I can go days and weeks without drinking but if I become triggered, or my anxiety rears its ugly head I do self medicate with booze.
Same here so I never saw myself as an alcoholic UNTIL I went too far and finally had to go for help!

Quote:
Rather than cutting down I have decided to just stop altogether and find a healthier way of dealing with my anxiety.
It took therapy and a good friend to convince me to totally stop - thank god!

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I want to live as long as I possibly can for my children
I do not have kids, but if I did, they would be the most significant reason to STOP being a miserable, dangerous alcoholic like my dad and some other drunks I know. Kids need and deserve the very best parenting/parents they can get and a drunk is not a good option.

Quote:
I am watching my brother slowly drink himself to death and I cannot do anything about it - but I can do something about me.
BRAVO!!!!

I'm so glad that I finally went for and found HELP. I no longer drink nor smoke and my triggers are less or none these days - whew!

choose happiness
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post #69 of 72 (permalink) Old 12-13-2016, 06:18 PM
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

I personally really enjoy a glass or two of wine... white in summer and red in winter. And I LOVE an ice cold craft beer on a hot summer evening.

But I haven't had a drink in over 4 months, mainly because I realized that I simply don't metabolize it well now that I'm going through menopause. I get horrible headaches, completely dehydrated, and don't sleep well at all if I even have one drink. Also, the alcohol affects me now in unpredictable ways--one glass of wine and I'm pretty well half-lit!

I still enjoy the ritual of having a drink after work, so these days I'll mix pineapple juice with club soda on the rocks. Works for me!

I don't think I'll never drink again, but at the moment I'm certainly not missing it so have no plans to imbibe.

Great thread, btw.

"Love is chemicals masquerading as choices!"
~ Sandfly
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post #70 of 72 (permalink) Old 12-13-2016, 06:55 PM
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

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All drinkers are "emotional drinkers" due to unsatisfactory emotions/feelings that drinking is supposed to soothe or manage.
What utter nonsense!

I don't drink alcohol to soothe anything at all.

The only reason I drink alcohol is because I like the feeling that comes from being tipsy or drunk.

So the only times I ever drink it, is to get tipsy or drunk.

That said I don't drink very often at all. For the past 15 years (30-45) I have saved the pleasure of getting tipsy or drunk to circa once or twice a year.

While the 5 years before that (25-30) it was once every few months, and again 5 years before that (20-25) once or twice a month.

Likewise for the past 20 years, my wife drinks alcohol to get tipsy 2-3x a year and gets drunk perhaps once every 2-4 years.

So I can assure you that not all drinkers are "emotional drinkers".
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post #71 of 72 (permalink) Old 12-14-2016, 04:09 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

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LOL, "heavy drinker" or alcoholic - what's the difference? I bet she "drinks" so she had to stay with Denial on that one. Did she even mention WHY folks drink - heavy or light?
There is a huge difference actually. I am pretty sure am not an alcoholic but I think I my drinking is unhealthy and too much. There is a checklist of signs of alcoholism that I don't fit into. I can go for a long time without drinking, never drink before 9 or think about alcohol until the evening. If we are saving for a large household item I can quite drinking for months to save money. I am currently on strong medication where I cannot drink - I would rather not drink and have the medication. An alcoholic would chose the booze. I think the biggest sign of an alcoholic is when priorities are skewed. i.e drink driving, not looking after themselves, drink over food, drink over bills being paid, not spending time with the family, risking jobs etc. Alcohol never takes priority over common sense and responsibilities for me. I think I also mentioned that I am pretty sure I am not an alcoholic because I can throw a half glass of wine down the sink because I have a cut off point where I begin to feel woozy. I don't like being drunk - I would seriously make the worst alcoholic.

I am not in denial. The fact that I went for advice means I was open to the idea of being told otherwise.


Quote:
All drinkers are "emotional drinkers" due to unsatisfactory emotions/feelings that drinking is supposed to soothe or manage.
Not at all. My husband is hugely into single malt whisky which he savors. He buys books on it and studies the flavours. He also likes real ale (cannot stand the stuff myself) because he loves the taste.
Same here so I never saw myself as an alcoholic UNTIL I went too far and finally had to go for help!


Quote:
It took therapy and a good friend to convince me to totally stop - thank god!
So pleased for you. How long has it been?

Quote:
I do not have kids, but if I did, they would be the most significant reason to STOP being a miserable, dangerous alcoholic like my dad and some other drunks I know. Kids need and deserve the very best parenting/parents they can get and a drunk is not a good option.
I am many things but nobody could ever call me a bad parent. I don't even drink in front of them (well occasionally a glass of wine at an event). Neither of my children have seen me drunk (I don't actually get drunk - I HATE being drunk and I HATE hangovers. I am a SAHM parenting a child with severe learning difficulties. Both my children get 100% from me. I am proud of my parenting. I see how my alcoholic brother has given up on parenting in favour of being in the pub. This weekend he did not pick his daughter up because he was too drunk/hungover after a christmas party. Unthinkable to me.

Quote:
BRAVO!!!!

I'm so glad that I finally went for and found HELP. I no longer drink nor smoke and my triggers are less or none these days - whew!
Good for you. How long?

You appear to be spamming the Relationships and Addictions board. Have you now a problem with porn?

Last edited by peacem; 12-14-2016 at 04:16 AM.
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post #72 of 72 (permalink) Old 12-14-2016, 05:41 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread

Update on how things are going.

Sciatica and strong painkillers have meant that I have stayed off the booze and I have been happy to do so. I haven't found it to be a sacrifice at all.

Because of back problems I have really been throwing myself into losing a stone before Christmas - and I have lost 1/2 a stone already! Probably won't make a whole stone but I will keep trying. My back feels better already.

New pay month for us and we certainly spent a lot less last month by cutting alcohol out or at least very low. I'm going to buy myself something nice for Christmas - not sure what yet.

A situation with my husbands family seems to have come to a conclusion (that didn't involve me but where I got some closure). My anxiety has been so much better to a point that I think it was this situation that had been worrying me. It was like a weight off my shoulders. Sleeping a lot better. Went and did an actual shop in an actual supermarket yesterday (which is something I haven't done in well over a year because of anxiety - I have been getting groceries delivered). I found myself cheerful and chatty with people. I deliberately went late whilst it was quiet but I think I did really well - almost enjoyed it.

I received my first assignment back for my MA and I got a good pass which was a huge relief and has made me want to focus and do better. Drinking gives me brain fog and tiredness the next day - so onwards and upwards.

Things have been a bit awkward between me and H recently. In the past I would turn it on myself and feel frustrated or not good enough. Now I feel I can just accept things and let it all wash over me rather than ruminating.

Christmas we will be on our own for the first time in years! And to be honest I am relieved because my sister usually brings copious amounts of wine with her and wants to stay up to the early hours drinking and catching up. So I am looking forward to a booze free Christmas - we are planning a walk in the Yorkshire dales.

This Saturday is our family Christmas party which is in the local pub. I'm really looking forward to it but I am going to volunteer myself as chauffeur for some of the older generation. Boxing day is party at mine for my brothers family. Not sure how to handle it as he expects plenty of drinking. I may text him beforehand and explain that we are having a dry Christmas (so he can bring his own if he wants). He tends to put me off drinking rather than encouraging me. He's drunk before he arrives - every. single. year.

Last edited by peacem; 12-14-2016 at 05:46 AM.
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