Relationships and AddictionWhether it's drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, pornography, or anything else, addictions can be detrimental to the health of a relationship.
what are we disagreeing on. my question...given my circumstances...has never been answered in the history of the "alcoholic" diagnosis?!?!? there has never been a case when a doctor can document someone being "cured"????
that is my point...and it's not semantics...the only way you are cured is if they bury you. once you have the disease you always have it.
the other side of the coin is eliminating risk. so if you live on the moon where there is no booze (i know ridiculous, but to illustrate a point) are you then cured???
thank you for your concern guys, but i'm not going to drink or "relapse" if you prefer. that's not a balloon i'm floating out there. i just never hear of a guy who is cured, but i hear lots of relapse stories. it's the most one-sided disease i've ever heard of.
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separated, honoring wife and family daily, she deserves the best me i can give her.
Okay let's look at it this way. I have a rare form of MD, for which there is no cure and no way to ever get better. Staying the same is the best I can ever hope for. The not regressing, no relapse, no injure is the prefered. Like alcoholism I don't get better, and I will never be cured. So there are many things like alcoholism out there, the difference is alcoholism is an addiction. I was born with what I have and dianosed at 28 after decades of symptoms.
Me like alcoholics only get cured at death when I suffer no more. I to can eliminate some risks, eat healthy, physical training, protecting my muscles from the slightest damage. Avoiding extreme heat (over 85) and cold (under 45), see the doctors regular. The comparison is scary.
okay, that makes sense, but my "symptoms" are non-existant. as "disease" is concerned i am asymptomatic. as addiction is concerned, it's as though the substance i am addicted to does not exist. i don't think i was arguing semantics. i am the enigma that AA does not need.
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separated, honoring wife and family daily, she deserves the best me i can give her.
okay, that makes sense, but my "symptoms" are non-existant. as "disease" is concerned i am asymptomatic. as addiction is concerned, it's as though the substance i am addicted to does not exist. i don't think i was agruing semantics. i am the enigma that AA does not need.
Have you thought about private counciling or a different AA group?
Voivod, I'm still not sure what you're looking for. We've all told you that we think it's better for you not to risk it. You have to make the ultimate decision about it. You know your own limitations.
Honestly, your signature claims that you honor your wife daily with AA. You've been doing that. Why stop now? Why risk THAT? You stop that now and Beth will look at your face and see nothing more than a large red flag.
You wanna show her you're serious? Stick with it for life. What's the big deal? Choose a different group. You like giving advice here. Think of how you could help encourage others in a group.
Don't start getting sloppy in this. I'm not looking to argue with you about it and I won't (I have too many vested emotions in the matter), but I'm calling it like I see it. I've been where Beth is and though I completely trust my husband, he's now an open book for a lifetime. Same with me! It's the price you pay when you lose control--- "cured" or not. And at one point, yes, you did lose control. You've had an addictive past and you have a point to prove-- to yourself, to Beth, your kids, everyone. So, make the sacrifice, it'll make you a better man.
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--M22
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud..... it always perseveres.
understand this...i'm not placing myself in harms way...and not needlessly exposing myself to risk...i just had a question...and based upon my circumstances, maybe the point is moot...i'm kinda arrogant about my alcohol situation...i really did wanna get a feeling for the "cured" thing...maybe no one is willing to make an arms-length call on this, but i believe i have my answer. i'm a gambler, but i never go all-in without having a pretty good idea of what the table looks like...i don't need a drink...and i'm having a hard time putting a value to AA...maybe that's my problem
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separated, honoring wife and family daily, she deserves the best me i can give her.
you cant be cured from being a acholoic, but what you can do is to work through each day making the most of your time . At the back of your mind im sure you think of having a drink and you have been strong enough to with hold .be glad of that and continue to work on your marriage .
If not drinking and going to aa meetings could keep me with the person i love then id continue to get all the help and support that was on offer ..
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LOVING THE CHAOS THAT SURROUNDS MY LIFE
At the back of your mind im sure you think of having a drink and you have been strong enough to with hold .be glad of that and continue to work on your marriage .
If not drinking and going to aa meetings could keep me with the person i love then id continue to get all the help and support that was on offer ..
okay...but a drink is not in my mind, back or front...
not drinking may or may not keep me with the person i love...the sad thing is my drinking is forever seared into her brain...i think i've affected her that much. that sucks...that i've changed someone's thinking that much. that the person i love i'm sure would like me to be able to drink socially, because i'm very good socially...but i've proven what an a$$ i can be with alcohol, i can't go back there without scaring the crap out of her...plus my health is too important now...
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separated, honoring wife and family daily, she deserves the best me i can give her.
There's a ton of anti-AA and alternative treatment stuff out there these days. Anti-Psychiatry is getting more and more popular too. Some of the information is bad because it attacks treatment methodologies that have helped thousands of people over the years. But the info that respects different forms of treatment and the fact that not one solution works for everyone is probably better imo.
Okay let's look at it this way. I have a rare form of MD, for which there is no cure and no way to ever get better. Staying the same is the best I can ever hope for.
Are you absolutly ruling out a cure for all time? Medicine is advancing every day. Can you be sure the above statement is the utter utter truth?
I think the key here is acceptance rather than denial. Just has Draconis has accepted his condition, (and is remarkable in his determination and positive attitude) an alcoholic has to come to a point of accepting the fact that it is an illness and taking the proper steps to stay healthy. I don't think Draconis was trying to be a pessimist, I think he was trying to make a point about the importance of perserverance--- no matter what hand you're dealt.
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--M22
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud..... it always perseveres.
This thread covers many things I feel very strongly about. I did not know about the dangers and depths of alcoholism until nearly 10 years ago when a couple of alcoholics entered my life. It's the chaos that frightens me the most. As Drac said, it's a darkness.
I dare not give all my views here mostly because I don't want to set people like V off on the wrong path, but I do believe people with addictions can be cured of that particular addiction. However, I wonder if someone with an addictive personality would simply gravitate towards another "itch to scratch".
With alcoholics in particular, it seems that their brain can develop a pathway that "requires" alcohol. If this is so, then it would follow that even if that pathway can be made fainter, it can never be totally erased. So perhaps it ultimately comes down to whether a person can see that pathway and not indulge it.
I was never an alcoholic, but I only drink a single beer on the odd business lunch, with food: 7 times a year, maybe. I used to drink a bit more, but every time I have any at all it feels like I am filling my body with poison. My wife has come to the same conclusion.
However, I wonder if someone with an addictive personality would simply gravitate towards another "itch to scratch".
There's not a doubt in my mind this is the case. My dh moved from porn, to cigarettes, to food, to drugs, alcohol,..... It's a lifelong battle for those with those tendencies. We go through lots of chewing gum in our house!
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--M22
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud..... it always perseveres.
Re: alcoholic???
